


Shattering Reality

by BrightStarDarkNight



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Friendship, Slow Burn, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2019-08-08 13:34:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16430369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrightStarDarkNight/pseuds/BrightStarDarkNight
Summary: Piper Chapman is popular, gorgeous and has the world at her feet. Enter Alex Vause - a drug dealing, street smart lesbian who is willing to turn her world upside down. Things are about to get messy - and Piper is ready for all of it. Vauseman high school AU. Nichorello. Possibly slowish burn.





	1. One

Piper's leg bounced under the desk as she watched the clock, counting the seconds until class was over. It was Friday afternoon and as usual, she had a party to go to that evening. Her phone was already blowing up and she could feel it vibrating against her leg in her pocket. She was itching to leave and meet Polly where they always met - next to the steps down to the parking lot. When the bell rang signalling the end of class, Piper was the first one up, sliding her already stacked books into her backpack.

"Miss Chapman," the teacher called as the class filed out, "I need a word. Stay behind, please." Piper suppressed a groan and stole another glance to the clock as the last few people finally left, leaving her and Mrs Figueroa alone in the class. "It won't take long," she promised curtly. Piper pressed her lips together and tried not to show her irritation on her face.

"Okay," Piper said. She took a seat in front of the desk at the front of the class, and waited patiently for Mrs Figueroa to stop painstakingly stacking her papers.

"I'm not going to sugarcoat it," Mrs Figueroa said bluntly, sitting on the edge of her desk. Piper eyed the pencil skirt that strained over her legs. "You're flunking this class."

Piper's brow furrowed. "This one too?"

Her report card had not been one for the Christmas cards this year, to say the least. In previous years she'd been an overachiever. Getting an A had come easy to her, and she passed every class with flying colors. What had changed? Well…

"Yes, this one too," Mrs Figueroa sighed.

Piper had discovered the joys of partying, had gained a boyfriend, and had also started selling artisanal soaps with her best friend, Polly. They lost more money than they made, but spent more time making soap and discussing how great Larry was than she ever thought about school. As a result, her grades were slipping - and her parents were furious.

"Listen, Mrs Figueroa," Piper said, flashing a smile. "You think you can help me raise my grade? Any extra credit? You know, my dad helps funds the annual French trip."

"I know," Mrs Figueroa said, raising an eyebrow. "He mentioned it when he called to ask how you were doing in my class."

Piper's smile fell. "Oh."

"Oh is right," she said, passing Piper her latest paper. She tapped the grade on the left hand corner, a bright red beacon of disappointment. "Redo this for Monday. You got a D."

"I can't," Piper said instantly. Her eyes flickered to the clock. Polly would be growing impatient by now. "I have a party. You must remember what it was like," she grinned.

Mrs Figueroa rolled her eyes. "The weekend is two days." Piper inwardly sighed. Had Mrs Figueroa forgotten what it was like to be young? Sure, Friday was the night of the party - but Saturday would be all about sleeping it off, and Sunday would be filled with discussing the details with her friends. She didn't have time for assignments! "Monday, my desk, Piper."

Piper didn't comment on the assignment. She was itching to leave, and arguing wouldn't help matters. "Can I go now, please?"

Mrs Figueroa nodded. "You think I wanna see you for longer than I have to either? Get out of here."

Nicky leaned against her car, taking another drag from her cigarette. She followed Alex's gaze and bit back a groan when she saw it was fixed on Piper Chapman. "You know, she's failing like every class."

"So?" Alex sighed. She tried the door handle, but Nicky hadn't opened it. Despite her eye roll, Nicky made no move to unlock the vehicle.

"So, I don't get why you like her. She's a fucking loser." Nicky threw the cigarette butt onto the floor and finally opened up the car, sliding into the driver's seat. Alex followed suit, bowing her head as Piper looked around.

"You're failing like three classes," Alex pointed out, putting her feet up on the dash. She smirked. "Does that make you a loser too?"

"Nope," Nicky said, remaining unbothered and turning the key in the ignition without taking her eyes off of Piper. "I'm rebelling against the system."

"What if she's rebelling against the system too?" Alex proposesd.

Nicky shook her head. "Nah. Blondie's too busy selling her soaps to be part of anything bigger." Nicky exhaled, watching Piper starting to argue with someone on her phone. "The chick's got nothing in her head."

"You wanna argue that?" Alex asked. "What about Lorna? Her head's pretty and all but it's pretty fucking empty too."

Nicky swung out of the parking space, raising an eyebrow at Alex. "Lorna's good at lots of things. Maybe not academic, but trust me," she said, winking. "Lorna's a girl of many talents."

"Ugh. Spare me the details." Alex played with the ends of her hair for a moment, watching as Piper disappeared out of sight. "Are you going to the party tonight?"

"Fuck no," Nicky said. "They only ever have booze. And the cheap stuff." Alex rolled her eyes. She forgot how much of a drink snob Nicky could be. "I need something stronger. Here," Nicky said, rummaging in her glovebox. Alex shifted in her seat. She hated Nicky's driving; the girl never kept her eyes on the road for nearly as much time as Alex would have liked. But as the only one who could afford a car, she was stuck with her for the time being. The blonde pulled out a little baggie containing white powder. "Go without me," she said, tossing the baggie onto Alex's lap. "And have a real good time."

Alex stiffened as the baggie landed on her lap. She held it up, swinging it in the light, and shook her head. "I've told you - I don't do this shit."

"I know, I know," Nicky said, pulling into Alex's street. She cut the ignition. "You only sell it, right?"

"Shut the fuck up," Alex warned. She rolled her window up, glaring at Nicky. "I've told you. My mom cannot know about this shit, okay?"

"And she's not already wondering where the cash is coming from?" Nicky flicked her wrist in the air dismissively. "She knows something's up. She's just ignoring it because you can keep the lights on now."

Alex blushed. Her home life was always a source of embarrassment, and although Nicky knew everything about her and didn't mean it rudely, the comment still stung. The truth always hurt. Alex pushed her glasses further up her nose. "Just don't mention it, okay? Diane and I have a...complicated relationship."

Nicky pursed her lips. "I know all about those, kid. My lips are sealed. Just don't fuck it all up at this party, okay? I know you like her and all, but she's got a boyfriend. Plus, you know, all the other terrible things about her. Straight girls fuck you up."

Alex opened the car door. "I know," she said quietly. Alex slipped the baggie into her pocket and stepped out of the car. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure. If you're not too hungover."

"No more hungover than you'll be strung out," Alex called back. Nicky flipped Alex off, starting the engine again.

"We'll see about that!"

Piper winced as the front door slammed behind her. It was a sign of things to come and she had an awful sense of foreboding in her stomach as she stepped quietly into the kitchen. There, both her mother and her father waited for her.

"Piper," Mrs Chapman said, shaking her head. "We've had another call from your teacher. You're failing French. For pity's sake, Piper, your grandmother taught you French when you were four years old! How are you failing?"

Piper sighed, letting her backpack slide down to the floor. "I'm sorry, mom."

"You're sorry? You're failing most of your classes! Do you have any idea what this school costs? We already have Cal failing, but you know him...he can't help it. Your father and I have higher hopes for you."

Piper tried not to smirk at the character assassination of her brother. She loved him, but by God he was annoying - and, admittedly, not the brightest spark either. "I'll try harder, daddy," Piper said, offering her sincerest smile to her father.

"I know you will," Mr Chapman said. "Because you're going to sit down with a tutor each night until your grades are up. No more parties, no more soap, and no more credit card until you're at least getting all Bs."

Piper's jaw worked hard as she processed the information. Her smile instantly darkened into a scowl. "You can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because…" Piper didn't have an answer, but it wasn't going to stop her. "Because you can't stop me going out!"

"Piper Elizabeth Chapman-" her father started, but the young girl threw down her jacket next to her backpack and stormed to her bedroom. She ignored the yelling behind her and slammed her bedroom door.

Stuffing the clothes and shoes she'd picked and her makeup into a bag, she flew down the stairs. Again she ignored the protests from her parents as she got into her car. Angrily, she shoved the key into the ignition. At least Polly's mom would help curl her hair.

The drive to Polly's house was short. Piper slung her bag over her shoulder as she walked Polly's driveway. Knocking on the door, she was greeted by Mrs Harper.

"Oh," Mrs Harper said, looking confused but still smiling. "I wasn't expecting you, Piper." She threw a worried glance up the stairs, but opened the door to let Piper in.

Piper smiled. "Thanks, Mrs Harper! Is Polly in her room?"

"Yes," Mrs Harper confirmed. She hesitated for a second. "Go on up, honey."

Piper climbed the stairs two at a time and threw open the door to Polly's room. When she saw Brook Soso sitting on the bed, she did a double take. That bitch had been rude to her for months, not to mention the fact that she was weird as hell.

"Oh, hi, Piper," Polly said. She stopped applying makeup to Brook's face and offered Piper a guilty smile.

"Oh, hi," Piper said sarcastically. "You blew me off for her?"

"Listen, Piper," Polly sighed, but Piper had already reached for the door handle. "Don't go!"

"Save it, Polly!"

Twenty minutes later, Piper sat on Larry's bed. When she tried to shut the door, Larry stopped her. "Sorry," he said, ducking his head. "Open door policy."

Piper rolled her eyes. "I can't believe Polly. First she ditches me then she has her round to do makeup! She looked like a five year old playing dress up." Larry nodded but didn't have anything to add, which only added to Piper's anger. "Aren't you gonna say something? Don't you think that's a shitty thing to do?"

Larry frowned and nodded. "Yeah, of course." He took Piper's hand; he never could understand the drama that Piper went through daily, nor could he often bring himself to care. It was always something with her, and he just wanted an easy life and a stress free senior year. "I'm sorry, Piper."

"It's okay," Piper said. "We just have to put on a united front." Her eyes shone. "The party tonight is gonna be amazing. I can't wait," she gushed. Then her eyes fell to his outfit - faded jeans and an old band t-shirt. "You're not wearing that, are you?"

He had been planning to wear that, but he knew that look by now. "No," he sighed. "I'll change. Pick whatever you want."

Piper beamed. "You're a good boyfriend."

At the party, Piper hooked her arm through Larry's. He smiled at a guy walking past and pulled his arm away. "Listen, Piper...I have to tell you something."

"Can't it wait?" Piper asked. She waved at one of her friends on the other side of the room.

"My mom says I shouldn't hang out with you anymore," Larry continued, scratching the back of his neck. The beer bottle clutched in his right hand wasn't even half empty. "I didn't wanna tell you earlier. You were upset about Polly…" he groaned.

"Hang out with me? What are you, twelve? We've been dating for two years, Larry." Piper's fist balled up by her side. She laughed. "Who cares what your mom thinks, anyway? My dad hates you."

"She says you're going to end up doing nothing with your life. Maybe in prison," he shrugs. "You're failing all of your classes. And...I don't know. I think she's right."

"Prison..?" Piper echoed. "What the fuck, Larry? I'm skipping science, not running a meth lab."

"Whatever," he said, shifting uncomfortably. "I just...I think we need a little time apart. You used to have a GPA of 4.0. Now you're wasting your time on other stuff...I don't know," he sighed. "I just miss who you used to be."

"You want time apart? You know what? Fuck you!" Piper snatched the beer bottle from him and took a swig. "I don't need you. I have a business. I have Polly!"

"Oh yeah?" Larry asked. "Where is Polly, anyways? You were complaining that she ditched you three hours ago."

Piper glared at him. "Seeing as we're not together anymore, you don't have to worry about it."

Alex stood at the end of the driveway, watching the kids milling on the porch. The party was in full swing and she'd deliberately left late so that she wouldn't have to wait for the fun to start. She hated the start of parties where everyone stood awkwardly, waiting for the music to start or the kids to get drunk.

She cast her eyes around, and frowned she she caught a flash of red in a field across from the house. Alex looked around but saw no-one else, and she walked over to the fence separating the two areas. A playful smile lit up her features as she realized who the girl in the field was.

Piper.

Alex watched the blonde from the fence. She sat under a vast tree, the trunk supporting her bare back as she leaned against it. Her shapely legs were crossed, the red soles of her Louboutins facing Alex. If it weren't for the smudged makeup and the birds nest she called hair, she would have looked perfect. Alex leaned her arms over the fence, watching as Piper took another swig from the glass bottle. Her lips quirked upwards, and she wondered what other things the other girl hid under her perfect prissy persona.

She hopped the fence, for once thanking god for her tall stature, and looked over her shoulder. Everyone else at the party was enjoying themselves, getting drunk, and kissing girls and guys that they shouldn't. No-one was paying attention to either of them. Satisfied that she'd caught her alone, Alex crossed the field to where Piper was sitting. Leaving a little space, she leaned against the same tree trunk.

"Hey, blondie," Alex murmured. Her eyes drifted to the vodka bottle in Piper's hand. "Wanna share?"

Piper downed the last of the drink and then handed Alex the empty bottle. "Sure."

Alex chuckled softly. "Not very generous, are you?"

"I can't afford to be generous," Piper grumbled. She snatched the bottle back, fighting to get the last drops onto her tongue.

Alex scoffed. Her eyes fell to Piper's shoes, which probably cost more than her mom's car. She scraped her hair back, raising her eyebrows. "God help humanity if you can't afford to be generous."

Piper clicked her heels together like Dorothy. "You're judging me based on these?" Piper bent her knees and hooked the shoes with her finger. "Here. Take 'em."

Alex laughed again. "I'm not taking your shoes."

"Why not? My mom will just confiscate them," she muttered. "I'm not even supposed to be at this stupid party. And Polly's ditched me, God knows where Larry is…" The blonde rolled her eyes and rested her head against the tree trunk. "Anyway," Piper said, trying to focus her eyes on the brunette she vaguely recognized. "What do you want? I've seen you around." She scanned her eyes down Alex's body, wondering how on earth someone who wore clothes from Target afforded to go to their school.

"I have a proposition," Alex admitted.

"Oh?" Piper said. She pushed her hair out of her eyes. "What's that, then?" She leaned dangerously close to the brunette. She'd heard rumors about her - about how she was poor, about how she was a lesbian, about all sorts of things...but the smell of her strawberry lip gloss drowned them all out.

Alex hesitated. The girl was totally out of it, but she had her interest - and that wasn't guaranteed when she was sober. Hell, even getting her to talk to her wasn't guaranteed when sober. She pulled out the little white baggie.

Piper pulled back. "Whoa," she said, holding her hands up. "I don't do drugs."

"Nor do I," Alex chuckled softly. "I sell them. You want an adventure, Piper?"

Piper stared at Alex, wide eyed. She opened her mouth and was about to decline, and then she thought of her parents. Of Polly. Of Larry. They all thought so little of her. Her parents didn't know what was going to hit them. Piper tucked a strand of hair into Alex's ear. "You bet I do," she whispered.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you thought, I hope you like the newest chapter.

Before she even opened her eyes, Piper knew that the room would be spinning. Her head pounded, every beat of every song from the previous night drilling into her eyes like a jackhammer as a migraine started to take over her senses.

"Morning, sunshine."

Piper's blue eyes snapped open, and she was faced with a pair of striking green eyes staring back at her. The alcohol had turned their meeting into a hazy fleeting glance, but Piper still remembered the way she'd made her feel. Last night, for the first time in a long time, she'd finally felt excited about life. But now...she looked around warily. How did she end up in a car? Her eyes immediately flickered to the dash, which showed it was almost ten AM.

"Shit," she breathed, throwing her stuff into her bag, which was nestled by her side. Alex watched with an amused smile, throwing on her glasses haphazardly. "My parents are going to fucking kill me!" Piper said harshly. She glared at Alex as if it were her fault. "How come you don't have the hangover from hell?"

Alex raised an eyebrow teasingly, smiling through her own headache. "Not everyone's a drama queen," she said softly.

Piper pushed her hair out of her face, narrowing her eyes at Alex. "Watch it," she said, and Alex fought another smile. If the blonde was trying to be threatening, she was failing; Alex was reminded of a little feral kitten - hissing and spitting despite the fact it was an adorable ball of fluff. She pulled up the sweater Alex had thrown over her for warmth. It smelled so much like the brunette, and Piper wondered what perfume she used. It was sweet and warm, and Piper resisted the urge to bury her face in it. Her bravado fell around her feet as she asked, "Why are we in a car?"

Alex chuckled softly. "Because you were completely shitfaced. I wasn't gonna be the one explaining to mommy dearest why you couldn't walk a straight line." Alex hesitated, but decided not to tell Piper that she had been the one who begged Alex to stay with her last night, and not to take her home.

"Alex?" Piper had slurred, stumbling even though she had long taken off her heels and was walking the gravel driveway in bare feet. "Please stay with me."

"You need to go home," Alex said softly. She steered Piper by the elbows to her car, her heart twisting when the blonde leaned her head on Alex's chest. "Your mom will wonder where you are." It was only a guess, of course, but she assumed a girl like Piper would have a family. A good one, where her mom wondered why she didn't come home, with a dad who would carry her upstairs if she couldn't. A family who would probably care if their daughter came home blind drunk, but still would love her in spite of it.

Piper looked up at Alex. "You look sad."

A small brief smile flickered onto Alex's face. "I'm not sad," she said, her voice breaking. "I'm just worried."

"Oh," Piper said, flippantly waving a hand. "Well, don't. My parents never worry about me," she said angrily. "Maybe this'll scare 'em a little." A tinkly laugh escaped, and Alex winced. It sounded so cruel. But then Piper fell into her arms a little more, having tripped over a rock, and stared up at Alex pleadingly. "Please don't take me home. Stay with me. You'll do that, won't you?"

And despite every fiber of her being screaming at her not to, Alex had nodded. She even dared to plant a kiss on Piper's forehead, and she didn't resist. "Of course I will. I'll look after you," she promised.

"I need to get home," Piper said suddenly. She slipped out of the back seat and slid into the driver's seat, and Alex followed suit, sitting in the front passenger side. She faced Alex. "Listen, it's been...interesting talking to you," Piper said, pressing her lips together. "But I really do have to get home."

"Really?" Alex asked doubtfully. Piper hadn't worried about getting home last night. In fact, she had no qualms about staying out all night. "You've changed your tune," Alex said defensively.

"I know." Piper offered no more explanation, but she did have one. Her grandmother would be visiting today, and although the woman was odd and had quirks just like every other member of her family, she adored her. She bit her lip and hoped she hadn't arrived yet; she would only worry about her youngest granddaughter, and it made Piper feel awful when she upset her grandmother.

She rubbed the back of her neck and sat up, shaking her hair out of the messy bun she didn't remember throwing it up into. She watched Alex for a moment, and then sighed. "You need a ride home?"

Alex nodded wordlessly. The morning light had made the truth abundantly clear - Piper didn't care about her, or at least, that was the thought swirling around Alex's head. On the inside, she laughed. Why should she? Piper barely knew her. But it didn't stop the sting of rejection.

Piper noticed the shift in attitude, and shifted in her own seat. She swallowed hard, finding it difficult to put aside every notion she had preconceived about Alex before she met her. "Do…" she paused, taking a deep breath. "Do you wanna meet up later, maybe?"

"I can't," Alex said reluctantly. She picked at a frayed edge on the seat belt behind her, and although Piper noticed, she didn't say anything. As much as she resisted it, she found the brunette fascinating. "I'm meeting Nicky later."

"Nichols?" Piper said, her nose wrinkled. She rolled her eyes, and the "I don't care" attitude was betrayed by her irritated expression. "Why are you friend with her?"

Alex held back a laugh - Nicky would have asked the same question about Piper, and Alex would have given the same, plain answer. "Because I like her."

"Well," Piper said, jutting her chin out, "I don't. She's a weirdo, you know - she totally hit on one of my friends and then got angry when she rejected her. She's straight, obviously." Piper rolled her eyes again, and even pissed off, she looked pretty. Alex could even see past the shit she was spouting from those beautiful rosebud lips.

"Oh, she hits on everyone," Alex said easily, running a hand over her aching neck. "Don't take it personally. You know, unless you want to."

"I wouldn't," Piper said scathingly, resting her cheek on her hand. "But she didn't hit on me, like I said."

"Oh," Alex said with a laugh. "Is that what you're upset about?" She patted Piper's hand and was secretly delighted when the blonde didn't pull it away. "Don't worry. It'll happen at some point. She can't help herself."

"Of course not," Piper said, her face flushing a rosy pink. Piper turned to face the front, and made the engine roar to life with a flick of her wrist. She glanced at Alex, ready to be home. "Just let me know where to turn."

Nicky clicked her tongue in annoyance. "Really, Alex?"

Nicky might not have known it, but she had that whole disappointed mother look down pat, and Alex squirmed under her everwatchful gaze. "Even Sylvie was better than her, and that bitch was absolutely crackers."

Alex rubbed her head and glared at Nicky. "You liked her at the time," Alex insisted. "You thought she was fun."

Although she had known Nicky hated Piper for everything she represented, and also for some little feud they'd had unbeknownst to her, she had truly though that Nicky would have been pleased for Alex when she told her.

Nicky licked the cheeto dust from her fingers and ignored Alex's look of disgust. She hated the toxic looking snack and wrinkled her nose in distaste when Nicky shook the packet in her direction. "I thought she was fun when she was high and laughing at clouds." Nicky gave Alex a pointed look. "I liked her less when she was high and waving a fucking gun around."

Alex glared. "Keep it down! My mom's downstairs. I don't want her hearing all of that shit." Alex pushed her glasses up her head and rubbed her eyes. "It was hard enough keeping it from her at the time."

"Don't I know it," Nicky said dramatically, throwing her head back. "That woman can smell trouble like a bloodhound. It's impressive, really."

"She's just worried Lee will stop paying my school fees if I get in anymore trouble. You know what the principal said - one more strike and you're out." Alex groaned. "He marries a white picket wife and suddenly it's all I have a reputation to uphold, Diane, control your daughter! And if she lived with us, this wouldn't be happening!" Alex laughed, but Nicky frowned. "If I lived with them, I'd fucking kill myself."

"Yeah…" Nicky said, resigned. "Nell's a bitch."

"Don't I know it," Alex echoed. She exhaled hard through her nose, and Nicky threw the cheeto packet on Alex's desk and flopped down on her bed.

"So…" Nicky said after a moment. "What are you gonna do now?"

"I'm gonna show them," Alex said determinedly. "I'm gonna make a shit ton of money and pay my own school fees."

Nicky couldn't help but laugh. Growing up around business people gave Nicky a little more insight than the average teen, and she saw a flaw in Alex's plan that she was blind to. "What, you're gonna launder your money through a lemonade stand? Or your Saturday job at the ice cream store?" Nicky offered Alex a sympathetic glance, but shrugged her shoulders. She sat with her legs up against the wall and her head dangling off of the bed, staring up at Alex. "Sorry, Al, but until you're eighteen, you're fucked. Stuff the money under your mattress and save it for a plane ticket. Or two. I'd come with you to the Bahamas." She considered for a moment. "Unless you're taking Blondie. I don't wanna be a third wheel."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Speaking of Blondie, I blew her off to spend time with you. You could at least be a little grateful," she said begrudgingly.

"What the fuck?" Nicky sat up. "I don't like her, but you do! I'm here all day, Vause. Trust me. I don't wanna go back to Marka anymore than you wanna spend time with Lee."

Alex raised her eyebrows. "Fair point."

"So go get her!" Nicky encouraged. She smirked. "I'm sure I can fill my time," she said, pulling out her phone. "Lorna's usually free on Saturdays, I'm sure we can find something to do."

Alex laughed and rolled her eyes. "Spare me the details!" Then she bit her lip, throwing a concerned glance to Nicky. "I don't even know her phone number."

"Yeah...that might be a problem." Nicky slammed her hand down on the bed and raised her eyebrows. "Do it the old fashioned way, go to her house." Alex looked unsure, but Nicky jumped up from the bed and gave her a little shove towards the door. "Go!"

Alex dissolved into laughter, and finally gave in. "Okay! Okay, I'll go to her house. I think I know where it is. We went to that party one time."

"Yeah, one and only. What a snoozefest."

"Oh, please. Not every party needs drugs."

"Says the drug pusher!"

"I'm not a drug pusher," Alex insisted, a grin lighting up her features. "I'm just a businesswoman."

"Mhm," she said, flashing Alex a grin of her own. "And I'm sober right now."

Alex circled the same street four times before she got the courage to walk up her driveway. She rubbed her hands together nervously, her clammy fingers clenching anxiously. It didn't help that the driveway was a short walk of its own. She cleared her throat as she walked it, practising what she would say.

"Hi, I'm Alex," she said, the words feeling so unnatural. "Hi, Mrs Chapman. I'm Alex." She shook her head. "No, that doesn't sound right," she said worriedly. "Oh, hi, Mr Chapman! I'm here for Piper." She groaned audibly at her own insecurities, and then finally knocked on the door.

When it hadn't opened after about a minute, Alex thought about turning around. Just as she was about to, the door flew open. Piper stood at the door, and her mouth opened and closed a couple of times before anything was said. When something was finally said, it wasn't either of them who said it.

"What's she doing here?"

Alex looked beyond Piper to see where the voice came from. Her stomach clenched when she saw her. Polly. She forced herself to smile. Piper didn't return the gesture. In fact, she did nothing except look terrified. Piper turned to Polly, and then turned back to Alex.

"Oh, um...she's here for a project!" Piper said. "We got paired for French."

The worried teen waited with baited breath to see if Alex would play along. Polly could not know they were friends. Alex felt her confidence and heart shattering into a thousand pieces at the thought of Piper being ashamed to be seen with her, and swallowed hard.

"Bonjour," Alex whispered.

Piper's face flooded with relief, and Polly groaned behind her. "Unlucky!"

Alex jutted her chin out at the insult, but couldn't find it in herself to say anything back. All words and insults that she could have hurled back seemed to stick in her throat, and she only really cared about what Piper said anyway. The aforementioned blonde simply shot Polly a warning look and gave a sympathetic smile to Alex when Polly turned her back.

Alex waited until Polly had got into her car and driven away until she turned away too. She didn't want Piper to see the tears welling in her eyes. Yes, she was used to being an outcast, especially at a school like the one they went to, but it didn't make it hurt any less. And she had been stupid enough to think Piper was different. Ha. How wrong could she be.

"Alex, wait," Piper said. "Please don't go."

Alex wiped her cheek roughly and then turned to face Piper again. "Why not?" Alex demanded. "You know what, fuck her! Excuse my French," she added sarcastically. "I thought you weren't even friends anymore."

"We weren't. She just turned up, I didn't know she would…"

"Well, you've got her. You don't need me."

"Please, Alex. Just stay for a bit. She's gone, isn't she?" Piper pleaded, even though she didn't know why. She never begged. She never needed anyone. And yet here she was, feeling like the world would stop if she didn't prove to this girl - by all accounts, a loser, someone who lived in a totally different world to Piper - that she did care.

"No!" Alex said. "I've had enough of people who just use me. If you don't want me around, then I'll go. It's no problem." Alex let her eyes close, feeling a headache pounding at her temples. Before she got the chance to open her eyes again, she felt a pair of lips crashing down on her own. She let her eyes flutter open to see Piper's closed eyes, her face pressed so close to hers that she could feel her hair tickling her collarbone.

It was cliche, but she felt sparks. Her heart thumped under her sweater, and she snaked her hands around Piper's back. She had dreamed about this for so long, and she let her hands wander over Piper's waist. The feeling of her cold hands seemed to snap Piper out of it. She pushed Alex back, stumbling over her own feet. Piper wiped her mouth, and looked at Alex, open mouthed.

"I, um...I…" Piper rambled, her blue eyes wider than Alex had ever seen. After a moment of Alex saying nothing and Piper trying desperately to find the words, any words, to say, Piper pushed Alex out of the door. "I'm sorry, that should have never happened," she stammered, slamming the door.

Alex stared at the closed door. Her hand went to her lips, which by now were covered in strawberry lip gloss. She could taste it, and it was the only thing making her believe that the kiss had really just happened. Even though the door had slammed in her face, she couldn't help the smile that crept onto her face. She was hurt, and pissed, but the kiss had been salved her pain somewhat.

Alex turned around and walked down the driveway, making her way home. She felt like she was in a weird bubble, the faint taste of strawberry the only thing reminding her that it was real, that it had happened.

Man, what a day!


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the newest chapter. Please let me know what you think, thank you for the kudos/bookmarks...haven't really ever used this site before so it's all new to me.

Shit. That was the first thought Piper had as she leaned against her front door, her heart thudding like galloping horses. Why had she done that? She didn't even like the girl...did she? Piper peeked out of the net curtain that covered the window and watched as Alex stood, and then, after a tiny pause, walked away.

A thousand thoughts ran through her head. She could tell anyone! Everyone's gonna know, and then what? And although all of those thoughts unsettled her, there was one that upset her the most. The thought that she couldn't shake, no matter how hard she tried to banish it from her head. When can I see her again?

Piper groaned as she slammed her bedroom door behind her. Polly's voice rang in her ears. What's she doing here? She gritted her teeth as she wondered why she'd let Polly speak to her like that. It wasn't like she had been there for her when she was blackout drunk.

And yet, when her mom called up the stairs asking, "Who was at the door, Piper?" she couldn't bring herself to explain to her mom any more than she'd explained to Polly.

"A cold caller," Piper muttered.

"What were they selling?" Mrs Chapman called up. Piper rolled her eyes - like her mother would ever buy anything from anyone selling at the front door anyway.

"Drugs," Piper called back softly, a smirk playing on her lips as she wondered what her mom would really think of Alex. Hell, she didn't even know what she really thought of Alex. Not yet, anyway.

"What was that, darling?" Mrs Chapman replied.

Piper huffed. "Rugs, mom! They were selling rugs."

Nicky raised her eyebrows as she swung the door open to Alex standing on her doorstep. She took one look at her and smirked. "You look like the cat that got the cream," she remarked. "Or should I say pussy."

"Cat is fine," Alex said, wrinkling her nose. She shot Nicky a roll of her eyes as they made their way up to her bedroom, but if Nicky caught it, she didn't react.

"Wasn't the word I was replacing, but okay," Nicky said, laughing. "You're smooth, Vause, I'll give you that."

Alex sighed. "Nothing happened, not really," she admitted. "I mean, she kissed me, but it was only a peck." She ignored the taste of Piper's lip gloss, still present on her lips and burned into her memory, and shrugged.

"You struck out," Nicky concluded, opening the door to her bedroom. Lorna sat on the bed, a sheet pulled up over her otherwise nude body. Upon seeing Alex, she scrabbled at the sheet, pulling it around her more tightly and glaring at Nicky.

"You said you'd get rid of whoever it was!" Lorna hissed. Then, turning her attention to Alex, she smiled, her cheeks burning. Lorna could never stay mad for long. "Hi, honey, hope your date went well!"

So they've been talking about me, the taller girl thought. "Oh, it wasn't a date…" Alex trailed off as Nicky slid down on the bed next to Lorna, smirking.

"You know I can't turn my girl away," Nicky said, looking as though butter wouldn't melt. "Besides, she's seen it all before. You don't remember skinny dipping at the lake last summer?"

Lorna's already pink cheeks tinged a deeper beetroot and she tucked the sheet under her armpits to keep it up. "Listen, I was pretty drunk," Lorna explained. "You shouldn't have let me! A turtle bit me in a very uncomfortable place," she complained, wincing at the thought of it. Nicky looked at her with a grin on her face, running her foot along Lorna's hairless, bare leg.

"Stopped you?" Nicky laughed. "I jumped in after you."

Alex watched the two girls joke back and forth. Despite Lorna telling Nicky off, she could tell that there was a real bond between the two. Not just lust, love. It made her stomach twist as she listened to them. She'd never had anything like it; even with Sylvie, it was just a bit of fun. Neither of them had really taken it seriously. And Sylvie was off her face for most of the relationship, anyway.

It was something she'd always wanted, but had never managed to get. Nicky leaned against Lorna, and Lorna's manicured hands began to rake through Nicky's mane of hair. Before anything else started, Alex cleared her throat.

"I'm gonna leave you two to it," she said. Lorna looked up in surprise, and then checked her phone.

"Oh, don't do that, sweetie. I have to get going now anyways," she giggled. "Christopher has booked us a table at the new restaurant that opened in town. It's Italian! He knows me so well."

If she noticed Nicky stiffen, she didn't react. Indeed she seemed oblivious to the roll of Nicky's eyes and the way she leaned away from the brunette. Alex glanced at her in sympathy, but Nicky looked away. "You'd better get going then," Nicky replied flatly. Her whole demeanor changed, and Alex's heart ached for her best friend. Rejection was always hard - mixed messages, though, were even harder to navigate.

Lorna pecked her on the cheek, brushing away blonde hair from Nicky's eyes. She was too busy pulling on her jeans to notice Nicky's glassy eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay, honey?"

"Sure," Nicky said, nodding. "See ya tomorrow, doll." Again, Lorna didn't notice the way her voice caught in her throat. But Alex did, and she crossed her arms as Lorna passed her, not returning the gesture when the small Italian gently squeezed her arm.

The door slammed behind Lorna, and Alex glanced at Nicky. Nicky didn't say anything, but stared at Alex wordlessly.

"Can I sit?" Alex asked.

Nicky shrugged. "Since when do you ask?"

Both girls sat with their shoulders touching, and Alex pushed her glasses up her forehead to rest on her head. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," Nicky lied, glancing out of her window and watching Lorna hailing a cab to go on her date. The blonde lit a cigarette, despite Marka's and the rental agreement rules, and inhaled deeply.

"What about...you know," Alex said vaguely. Nicky glanced over at her. "Lorna's boyfriend."

Nicky took another drag from her cigarette, tipping the ash into a trinket dish Marka had given her for her thirteenth birthday. "He's not even her boyfriend," she said dismissively. "He's just some poor moron that she's obsessed with."

Alex raised her eyebrows, but didn't say anything. Whilst she didn't know if Nicky was telling the truth, she couldn't be sure she wasn't, either. Lorna went to the school on the other side of town and Christopher was some boy in her English class. Alex had heard all of this, and had wondered what the fuck Lorna thought she was doing to Nicky, but the blonde seemed to take it in her stride. On the surface, at least.

"Straight girls, eh?" Nicky said, rolling the cigarette in between her fingers. "They'll fuck you up, I'm telling you." Nicky looked up at Alex, who was looking down at her worriedly. She waved a hand in the air. "Eh, but I'm sure your straight girl is fine. What went wrong, anyway?"

"She kissed me," Alex said, and Nicky quirked an eyebrow up. "And then she slammed the door in my face."

"Ah man. Fuck her, you know? Don't worry about it, Al."

Alex nodded, but bit on her thumbnail. She might not worry about it, but she would spend a hell of a lot of time thinking about it. "Don't give me any ideas," Alex smirked.

Nicky blew out another cloud of smoke and laughed. "There's the Vause I know."

Piper worked up the nerve to knock on Alex's door. The scrunched up piece of paper in her hand showed this as her address. She'd found it hours earlier, she was ashamed to admit, by scrolling through Alex's Instagram and finding a photo of her house. To her embarrassment, it wasn't even location tagged. Actually finding the address had been a feat on its own.

But now, even after those hours of will I, won't I she was beginning to cave. She wasn't sure what was scarier; the inside of Alex's house, or more specifically, the occupants of it, or the neighborhood in which she lived. Piper was used to manicured lawns and doorbells that chimed Fur Elise. She wasn't used to junkies hovering in alleyways and screeching urban foxes. She hopped foot to foot and whispered to herself. "Just do it, Piper...knock on the damn door.."

She rubbed her wrist anxiously, pleased that her scarlet trench coat covered her newest Pandora necklace, but worried nonetheless. After a few more minutes of contemplating - and a close encounter with a homeless man - Piper quickly rapped on the door.

A raven haired woman answered, clad in only a robe that looked like silk but was most likely polyester, and raised her eyebrows. "What are you, a girl scout?" She looked around Piper, trying to see if anyone was with her. "We don't want any cookies."

Piper stumbled on her words, wondering if she was serious. "What? No, I'm not a girl scout," she stammered. She grappled with the piece of paper in her hand, where she'd scrawled Alex's address - or what she thought was Alex's address. She stood up a little straighter, hoping to not show how small she felt. "I thought Alex lived here, Alex Vause."

"What's it to you?" The woman replied. Then, betraying any doubt she'd planted in Piper's mind, she turned and called, "Alex! There's someone at the door for you. God knows what for."

"I'm...I'm just a friend," Piper said. She hoped she hadn't got Alex in trouble - truthfully, she'd lost track of time and the glow of the moon told her it was far later than what was polite.

Alex ran down the stairs. Piper eyed the creaking staircase, wondering if it was safe to walk down, let alone run down. She was dressed only in her pajamas, a pair of shorts and a mismatched tank top. Nothing like Piper's matching, floral pajamas that her mom had bought her from Barney's. But on her, somehow, it worked.

"Piper?" Alex said, squinting without her glasses. Her hair fell down her shoulders in wet waves, and her face was bare. Piper still thought she looked beautiful, and felt self conscious in her full face of makeup. "What are you doing here?" Before Piper had the chance to answer, Alex glanced at her mom. "I've got this, mom," she murmured. "It's just a friend from school."

"Sorry to disturb you, Mrs Vause," Piper said, offering the still irritated looking woman a smile. Her smile always won over adults.

"There's nothing Mrs about me," she snapped back. Piper's smile faltered. Almost always. "I'll leave you two to it. Alex, invite her in. You know that guy's been hanging around lately. Close the damn door, okay?"

Despite her sharp tongue, Alex smiled easily at her mother and Piper got the impression that the two were close. She never had that with her mom. The blonde watched as Not-Mrs Vause walked away, swallowing hard.

"Sure, mom. Piper...come on in," she said, not quite knowing what to make of the unexpected visitor. She bit her lip. The living room was in a state - as always, Alex thought bitterly, remembering Piper's perfect home - and her bedroom was a tiny box room with barely space for a bed. But it was private and clean, and it was Alex's safe space. She gestured for Piper to follow and opened up her bedroom door. "It's not like your house here," Alex said bluntly. "But you can sit down, if you want to."

To Alex's surprise, Piper sat down on the bed immediately. She didn't even appear to look at the sheets with much detail before throwing herself down. "I like the decor."

"Thanks," Alex said warily. "I painted it myself."

"It's lovely," Piper said genuinely. And then she faced Alex head on as she sat down next to her. "But I'm not here to talk color schemes."

"Oh?" Alex said, almost mockingly. She wasn't sure what to make of the unannounced visit, and her guard was up.

"Your proposition," Piper said. "Is it still on the table?"

Alex uncrossed her arms. She was surprised Piper even remembered any of that night, let alone daring to believe she was considering it. Half of her wanted to jump at the chance to spend more time with her - but it had been a pipe dream. Something she'd never dreamed of getting Piper involved in, not really. It wasn't a game for the weak, and Alex had been burned before. She hesitated. Drugs were a hard business.

"Well?" Piper prompted.

Alex pushed her hair back. "Okay," she said finally. Even if she just kept her around for kicks, and didn't give her any real responsibility, they'd be spending time together….Alex wanted to kick herself for wanting that, but she desperately did. "Yeah," she said. "Okay. Meet me by the lockers on Monday."

"And Alex?" Piper said. Alex's tummy did a flip when she said her name, but she forced herself to keep a straight face.

"Yeah?"

"This is strictly business. Deal?"

"Deal."

Alex held her hand out, and Piper shook it for the briefest of moments. And though Piper looked like an angel, Alex couldn't shake the feeling that she'd just made a deal with the devil. A beautiful, enchanting devil.


	4. Chapter 4

Alex pulled on the sleeve of her sweater as she stared at Piper out of the car window on Monday morning. She narrowed her eyes as she noticed her crossing and uncrossing her legs, tucking her hair behind her ears and looking around herself. 

“What’s got Blondie in a twist?” Nicky asked, her gaze falling on Piper. She cocked an eyebrow, nudging Alex when she didn’t reply. “I guess her soap business is going down the drain.” 

Alex rolled her eyes as Nicky chuckled at her own joke. She pressed her lips together, throwing a glance in Nicky’s direction, and then sighed. “I may have inadvertently...given her a job.”

Nicky switched off the radio, her attention fully on Alex. “You what?” Nicky smirked. “What, she’s gonna be a cheerleader? Hmm,” Nicky said, running her finger along the edge of her jaw in mock thought, “I’m not sure many things rhyme with heroin.”

Alex groaned, turning to face Nicky. “I have no fucking idea what she’s gonna do. I’m gonna have to make a job for her or something.”

Nicky looked over Alex’s shoulder for only a split second, but long enough for Alex to notice her gaze sliding off to the side. 

“What?” the brunette asked, turning. She suppressed a sigh when she saw Piper’s face at the window. 

“Alex, hi!” Piper murmured, getting cut off as Nicky promptly closed the window with a press of her finger. Nicky grinned, unable to stop a laugh from bubbling out of her mouth.

“Nicky,” Alex said sharply, undoing it again. The window opened painfully slowly as Piper’s confused face showed through the slightly tinted glass.

Piper raised her eyebrows, a smile lighting up her face. Alex couldn’t help but stare at her lips, the cherry pink color she’d applied to them this morning making them pop. “Oh…” Piper stopped, tilting her head at Nicky. She lowered her voice to a stage whisper. “Does she..you know, does she know?”

Nicky’s eyebrows knitted together. “Do I know what?” she asked, resting her arm on the steering wheel. “Wait...all those late night phone calls, the shifty looks in the hallways, you always knowing when I’m high...you’re dealing drugs!”

Piper opened and closed her mouth a few times before shaking her head. “Of course she’s not!” she stammered, throwing a look of terror to Alex. 

Alex rolled her eyes. “She’s joking,” she said. “She thinks she’s funny.” She pressed her lips together. “But, you know,” Alex sighed, “Maybe next time, don’t ask someone if they know. If they don’t, they might after.”

“Oh,” Piper said, feeling stupid. It was something she never felt, and she hated the way it chipped away at her bravado. She bit her lip. “I didn’t think.”

“Why break the habit of a lifetime?” Nicky said, throwing a smile in Piper’s direction. Piper glared at her.

Piper’s gaze fell to Alex, the scowl still painted on her face. “Are you gonna let her talk to me like that?”

Alex pushed her glasses further up her nose. “Oh...yes,” Alex said, her forehead creasing. Nicky’s snicker from beside her and Piper’s glare darkening told her that was the wrong answer despite her not meaning to be rude - Nicky simply wouldn’t listen even if she did tell her. “I mean, no. Nicky, be nice,” she said.

Nicky raised her eyebrows. “This is my car, Blondie. Paws off.” 

“Of the car, or of Alex?” Piper retorted. “Everyone knows you had a thing for me. But you don’t have to be jealous.” 

Nicky rolled her eyes, totally unfazed. It bothered Piper that she couldn’t get under her skin, but she didn’t let it show. She glanced at Alex. “Listen. She was a seven pointer! I couldn’t pass that one up.” 

Piper narrowed her eyes. “A seven pointer? What is that? Some kind of lesbian slang?” 

Nicky laughed at the comment, chewing on her thumbnail. “If that’s what you wanna call it, sure. We were having a bang off.” 

“A bang off?” Piper echoed, her forehead creasing. “You know what, I don’t even wanna know.” 

Nicky cocked her eyebrow. “Bold of you to assume I was gonna tell you.” 

“Whatever.” 

Alex sighed. “Anyway,” she said, interrupting their glare off. “We need to get to class.”

“You didn’t tell me what my job was.”

Alex shifted in her seat, bunching up the material on her jeans as he thought. “Oh, don’t worry about that…” she scratched her eyebrow. “Everything’s under control.”

Piper looked at Alex plainly, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “If you’re not gonna let me do anything, why would you hire me?” 

Alex hid a smile at her term. ‘Hire’ wouldn’t have been the word Alex would have used, but she went with it. “I will let you do things,” she said, offering her a small smile. “But you wouldn’t let me make soap with no training, would you? And soap doesn’t come with a rap sheet.”

Piper exhaled through her nose, but conceded. “I guess not,” she said reluctantly. She shifted her bag to her other arm and looked at Alex expectantly. “So when does my training begin?” she asked eagerly. 

Alex ignored Nicky’s snicker. “Tonight, my house.” 

“I’ll be there!” Piper said, her eyes sparkling. “What time?” 

“Five,” Alex said without missing a beat. It would give her enough time to get home and if she was lucky, Diane wouldn’t be. She never could tell what her mom’s hectic schedule would be. “But don’t park your car outside.” Alex cringed as she thought of Piper stepping out of her car, barely a year old and without a scratch on it, outside of her house. 

“Sure,” Piper said, making a mental note to park round the block. “See you at five then, Alex...Nicky, see you in hell.” 

Nicky rolled her eyes. “Not if I see you first.” 

Piper checked her phone as she pulled up just outside the cul-de-sac where Alex lived. Her car blended in here, with all the others. She slipped on her coat and opened her car door, gently slamming it shut. 

Her heels crunched under the gravel as she counted down the houses to Alex’s. Not that she wouldn’t recognize it, with its rickety steps and broken window pane, but it gave her something to do. She ignored her phone buzzing; it would be Polly, and she didn’t want to hear from her, not now. They were supposed to be making another batch of soap, but seeing as she was banned from that, this was a nifty loophole. Her parents hadn’t banned her from drug dealing, she thought with a smirk. 

The brand new shoes she’d bought with the one credit card her dad hadn’t cancelled yet were beginning to rub at the back of her heels, and she winced as she limped up the small overgrown path to Alex’s house. As soon as she rapped on the door, it swung open. 

“Come on in,” Alex said, pushing wet hair back against her head. She was wearing her glasses but her face was bare otherwise, all makeup washed off. A smile ghosted Piper’s features. The brunette looked younger, softer, without makeup. “Sorry about my face,” she said, ducking her head as if reading Piper’s thoughts. “I had a shower.”

What Alex didn’t say is why she had a shower. She’d gotten so hot and sweaty - unfortunately not in a fun way. When she’d arrived home, the whole place had been turned upside down. It wasn’t an unusual sight - Diane could be unpredictable. But with the tidying and the rushing around, she hadn’t had time to blow dry her hair and apply makeup again. She felt almost naked without it, and weirdly self-conscious, but tried to style it out with a smile. 

Piper nodded, seemingly unfazed. “Makeup makes me feel like my face is suffocating, anyways.” 

Alex raised her eyebrows. Of all the things she could have said, she wasn’t expecting that. 

Piper hesitated. “But then you have beautiful skin,” she continued, thankful for the makeup despite hating the feel of it, for it hid the blush that grazed her cheeks. “Sorry, that was weird.” 

“No…” Alex said, letting a smile creep onto her lips. The only comment she’d ever had about her skin came from her stepmom - sweetie, you’d get lost in a snow storm...how about some bronzer? “No-one’s said that to me before. Thank you.”

Piper circled her foot in front of her, trying to lessen the ache. “That’s okay. I meant it.” 

Alex looked down at her feet. “They look painful,” she said, stepping aside. “Come in, you can sit down. Make yourself at home.”

“Mi casa es su casa?” Piper teased, kicking off her shoes and leaving them in the hallway.

“Sure,” Alex laughed, raising her eyebrows at the shoes kicked to the side. 

“Sorry!” Piper trilled, letting a laugh escape. She rolled her eyes. “Miss Claudette is always complaining about my shoes.”

Alex’s eyebrows kept on rising. “Miss Claudette?”

“Our maid,” Piper said easily. “Well, cleaning lady. She’s great at her job...can be a little intense, though.”

Alex smiled. Intense was the right word for everything about Piper. But beneath the smile, there was a yearning. There had been days where they could barely afford to eat, yet some families could pay to have their junk picked up after them. “Come on,” she said, another smile playing on her lips. “I have everything set up.”

Piper followed Alex without complaint. In the living room, Alex had turned the coffee table into an inventory of her stock. Little baggies were lined up, some filled with powder, some filled with pills. Piper stared in awe. 

“You’ve got...a variety,” Piper said after a moment, peeking up at Alex through her eyelashes. “Do you really have that many...um...customers?”

“Yep,” Alex said, rolling her eyes. Everyone had their poison. “Even people you don’t expect.” 

Piper’s eyes shone. “Like who?” 

Alex tapped her nose. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t reveal my customers. It’s all very confidential, you know?”

“But I’m your partner.” 

Alex laughed. “No, you work for me.”

Piper glowered. “But you hired me for a reason,” she whined. 

Alex smiled. Not the reason you think, she thought. “And if I fire you, you’d tell everyone who was buying from me.”

“Why would you fire me?”

I wouldn’t, Alex wanted to say. But instead, she shrugged. “Creative differences?” she suggested. “Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter. Maybe later on.”

“Fine,” Piper relented. She sat down next to the coffee table despite the cold floor - it was freezing outside but the heating was costly, and in a house as draughty as Alex’s, she didn’t make the decision to switch it on lightly - and shook one of the baggies like a snow globe. “It’s mesmirising,” Piper commented. 

“Even better when you smoke it,” Alex said. “But don’t,” she added quickly. “That shit is expensive. And getting hooked isn’t smart.” She thought of Nicky, who swore she wasn’t addicted. She hated the habit, despite peddling it for others, but there was nothing she could do for her.   
“I won’t,” Piper promised. And then she jumped as she heard footsteps.

Diane stood in the doorway, sizing Piper up. Piper’s gaze was stuck on Alex, who made no attempt to hide the baggies of white powder in front of her. Piper’s own hand was behind her back. Diane raised an eyebrow. “What are you girls up to?”

Piper opened her mouth, but Alex beat her to it. “Science project,” she said, her tone nonchalant. She pushed her glasses up her nose to look at her mom. “Me and Piper are seeing how baking soda reacts with different acids.” She picked up a bottle of vinegar from the floor and shook it. 

Inside, she groaned. Her mom wasn’t supposed to be home yet, at least she hadn’t thought so.

“You’re making volcanoes?” Diane asked, taking a drag from her cigarette. She eyed the powders, but didn’t come any closer. “What, they think you’re fucking stupid? You did that when you were seven.”

Piper’s eyes rounded at the language, but Alex didn’t seem fazed. Her mom would rather poke pins in her eyes than speak that way in front of guests and tarnish her perfect reputation.

The brunette just smiled. “You know how Mr Luschek is. He thinks we’re still in the second grade.”

“Need any help?” Diane asked, her voice rising hopefully. A smile lit up her own features, and she stubbed out the cigarette. “We had so much fun with that volcano,” she said proudly. She nodded at Piper. “Alex won first prize at the science fair. I still have that ribbon around somewhere…”

Alex’s smile slipped for a moment, and a little too quickly she said, “No! That’s okay, mom,” she said. “It’s less of a volcano and more of an experiment. Pretty boring.”

Diane forced a smile. “Okay, sweetie. Let me know when you’re done and I’ll start dinner. Is your friend staying?” 

Piper stayed silent but glanced at Alex, her eyes full of questions. Was her mom really that oblivious? Piper didn’t know, but she wasn’t about to start questioning her now. 

Alex looked at her mom, her forehead knitting together. There was no food in the fridge; there rarely was. The cupboards hadn’t been filled since they moved in - and even then they were only filled with mice and shredded paper. “I don’t think so,” she said slowly. “We have to pick up some more supplies for our project. I’ll pick up dinner on the way back.”

Diane smiled, more easily this time. Her pearly teeth showed. “Thank you. Oh, and Alex?”

Alex looked up, suppressing a sigh. She glanced at the window, watching the daylight fade and hoping to be finished before the stars appeared. “Yes, mom?”

“Be careful this time, hmm?” Diane said, her gaze falling to Piper. “We don’t want any more explosions, do we? You and Sylvia always..”

Alex’s hand froze above the baggie she was sealing shut. “That was different, mom,” Alex said tersely, cutting her off. She didn’t dare look at Piper and see what she was thinking, and scowled at her mother.

Nodding, Diane tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and grabbed the door handle. “If you’re sure.” When Alex nodded back at her, still frowning, she continued. “Have fun with your project, okay? Oh, and Piper, nice to meet you.”

“Oh, we already met…” Piper trailed off as the door closed before she could continue. She looked at her feet for a moment, trying to process. Her nose wrinkled. “Does she really think we’re doing a science project?” she whispered, deliberately ignoring the other comment her mother had made.

Alex shrugged, but she knew the answer. “I don’t know, maybe,” she lied. She chewed the inside of her cheek for a moment, turning things over in her mind before letting out a sigh. “Anyway. Let’s just finish these orders,” Alex said, reaching out for her list. She scanned it quickly. “Three lots of the Oxy,” Alex told Piper, whose hand hovered over everything but what she’d asked for. 

“The pink ones,” Alex reminded her, reaching out for them herself. Piper reached out at the same time, and their fingers brushed. 

It was cliche, but Alex swore she felt electricity when their hands were suspended in their air and their eyes locked as Piper turned towards Alex. It seemed like an eternity as they stared at each other, green meeting blue in an understanding of sorts.

The blonde pulled away first. “Um, the pink ones, right,” she said quickly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. 

Alex nodded, and then pressed the little baggie into Piper’s hand, her own fingers lingering a little longer than necessary. “You’ll get there,” Alex said. “Just takes practice.” 

Piper nodded, her eyes trained on Alex’s black nails contrasting with her own hot pink manicure. “Yeah,” Piper said, flicking her eyes up to meet Alex’s again. “Practice makes perfect, right?”

Alex chuckled, trying not to look disappointed as she drew her hand away again. “Right.” She let her hand fall to her lap and offered a small, shy smile. “Let’s get the rest of these orders done.”

Before either of them knew it, all of the orders had been placed in bags and had been marked off on Alex’s list. 

“So...that’s it?” Piper asked, a yawn escaping. It was still early, but it had taken a lot of concentration to try and learn all the names for the drugs...or products, as Alex insisted they be called. 

“That’s it, for today at least,” Alex said. “Apart from picking up some supplies, like I said.”

“Like what?” 

Alex smiled coyly. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“You want a ride?” Piper asked. It was half curiosity, half pity; she felt for Alex having to walk around in a neighborhood she wouldn’t even like to drive through, and she desperately wanted in on the action. “It’s getting dark.” 

“You get used to it.” 

“Is that a no?”

“No,” Alex said. She stood, brushing off her jeans. She stuffed her hands into the pockets of them, and smiled bashfully. “I have to tell you something though.” 

Piper’s stomach twisted, excited at the thought of being let in on trade secrets. “What?” 

“I just need to go to the dollar store. I’m all out of plastic baggies.” 

Piper squinted out of the window. “I’ve never been here at night.”

“You’ve been here?”

Piper rolled her eyes. “Of course I’ve been here. My nanny used to bring me and Cal here when we were little.” 

Alex nodded. “Of course she did.”

“Is it safe here at night?” 

“Probably not,” Alex admitted. “But by the time I get here on the bus it’s usually dark. And the worse thing that’s happened is a tramp spitting at me.”

Piper shuddered. “That’s disgusting.” 

“I mean, yeah.” Alex stepped out of the car. “You coming?” Alex wiggled her eyebrows, starting to walk towards the brightly lit, multicolored storefront. “Or you wanna stay in the car, hmm?”

Piper climbed out of the car, scampering after Alex. “Of course I’m coming.”

“Hey look! A remote control car,” Piper said, squatting to examine it. “Cal and Danny used to love these.”

“They’re cool,” Alex agreed easily. “Not really practical for the business, though.” 

“Really?” Piper giggled. “You could put the packages in the car and deliver it to the door.” She stood and ran her finger along the plastic shelf, seeing what else was there. “Oh, how cute! Look, Alex, isn’t he sweet?”

Alex turned as Piper held up a small stuffed koala. The blonde made him dance, and though she feel exasperated, Alex couldn’t help but snicker. “He’s very sweet,” Alex said. “But again, you know,” 

“Not good for the business,” Piper reminded herself. She ducked her head. “Right, boss!” Piper strolled along the aisle. 

“You know what’s even better than browsing?” Alex asked, turning back to see Piper yet again examining some junk she was never going to buy. This time, it was a pair of sunglasses. She slipped them over her eyes and turned.

“What?”

Alex rolled her eyes as she stared back at her, a pair of heart shaped glasses framing her face. SHe couldn’t help herself from smiling; she looked cute, and younger than usual, as she messed around with the stock. She hated to ruin the moment, but she hated how scary it felt out there when it was really dark. “Getting home without being jumped because the store is closing and they turn their streetlights off.” 

“Ah.” Piper nodded. “I imagine it is better than browsing.” 

Alex laughed. “Come on, I have the bags. Let’s just check out and go.”

“I’m getting the glasses.” 

“I thought it would have been the koala.” 

Piper grinned, throwing her head back in a laugh. “Him too,” she said, pulling him out from her pocket. “I couldn’t leave him behind. He was looking at me with koala eyes.” 

“Not puppy dog eyes?”

“Koalas always look like they’re judging you. So he’s looking at me with koala eyes. And so are you.” 

Alex shook her head, trying to hide her smile. “Just throw him on the conveyer belt..” she murmured.

Piper’s car pulled up outside Alex’s house, and Piper cut the engine. She looked at Alex. 

“This is me, then,” Alex said quietly. She looked out of the car window at the soft light coming from her house. It always looked inviting to her, when yellow light shone from the windows of a house. But she knew what was on the inside, and it negated that feeling instantly. Especially since tonight had been so...so nice.

With a sigh, Alex smiled sadly at Piper. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She wrapped her fingers around the door handle and pulled it down.

“Do you want to kiss?” 

Alex whipped round. Her heart thudded underneath her checked shirt and she hoped it wasn’t obvious under the thin camisole. “What?”

“Do you think I’m a priss?” Piper repeated. She frowned at the stricken expression on Alex’s face and touched her leg. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” Alex said, trying not to look down at her hand. “And no…” she paused, scratching the back of her neck with shaking hands. “I don’t think you’re a priss, Piper. Far from it.” 

Piper smiled, though she wasn’t sure she believed her. It was still nice to hear, even if it was a lie. “Thanks, Alex. And...I think you should have Bo.” 

Alex paused. “...Bo?”

“The koala,” Piper persisted, pressing the small stuffed animal into Alex’s hand. “He can be the business mascot. Every business needs one.” 

Alex smiled. Her business priorities were slightly askew, but the girl made her smile. “Bo the drug koala.” 

“Mhm,” Piper laughed. 

Alex’s hand went to the door handle as she pushed the car door open and let the cold of the night flood into the warm bubble of protection the car had provided. Even with Bo curled around her fingers, it was hard not to let reality hit. Alex forced another smile, pushing the door shut and separating them both. “Goodnight, Piper.”


	5. Five

"Christ," Alex muttered as she heard her phone pinging for the third time in ten minutes. She doesn't look at it. Over the past few weeks, she'd spent more and more time with Piper. And less time doing homework, which had piled up considerably. Not to mention the time spent with Nicky…

She loved her best friend, but she caused her grief like no other. Despite her own business, she hated Nicky's drug abuse. It made her feel like she was screaming into the void. As she looked back, it had gotten worse in recent months. Since Lorna had been messing her around...but Alex had ignored it, hoping it was temporary. Now it was staring her in the face. In fact, it had slapped her in the face. Alex closed her eyes as she thought about it. She wanted to push it all right out of her head, but it played again and again...

"Nicky?" Alex rapped on the door again. "Come on! I have snacks and booze, what's not to love?"

When there was no answer at Nicky's front door, Alex hadn't been concerned. Nicky was notorious for ignoring everyone - if she was in the mood, she shut everyone out. But she never ignored Alex's thinly veiled attempts to make her feel better. She always, eventually, came to the door. Alex had been there for ten minutes now, pleading at the door - Nicky's record was four and a half.

"Nicky?" Alex said again, less confidently. She took a step back, biting her lip. In a last ditch attempt, she tried the handle. Her eyebrows shot up when the door creaked open. She didn't even have to step into the room to see what was wrong, it greeted her instantly at her feet. "Nicky, oh my god!"

It wasn't that she even really cared about her grades - strangely enough, good grades weren't really a consideration in her line of work - but if she wanted the sperm donor who called himself her dad to keep paying her fees, she had to keep her grades up.

When it started to ring, Alex grabbed it and without looking at the caller ID, pressed it to her ear. "I'm all out for this week," she said, without giving the person on the other end a chance to even say hello. "Texting me incessantly won't help, I can't pull LSD out of my ass."

There was a hesitation but after a beat, a small voice piped up. "Uh, Alex?"

Alex's cheeks glowed beetroot, and she slapped a hand to her forehead. "...Piper?"

"I can call back another time if you're busy," the blonde said, twirling the phone wire between her fingers. The pink wire of her bedroom extension matched her nails. "Though I wouldn't say three messages is incessant…"

Alex suppressed a groan. "Maybe incessant was the wrong word choice."

Piper giggled. "Well, would it kill you to pick up the phone?"

Alex raised an eyebrow. Going to live with her father - a real threat if she didn't toe the line - would make her feel like dying, but she wasn't going into that now. "You know customers...stoners, they don't like to give up without a fight."

"I don't either."

"I have homework," Alex said reluctantly after a moment of silence. "You know what Healy's like. He can be a real hard ass."

"Really?" Piper let a little laugh out. "Huh, he always lets me off when I forget my homework."

"I wonder why." Alex smirked, rolling her green eyes. She doubted Piper ever 'forgot' about homework, rather than simply ignoring its existence. "Some of us don't have that luxury. I'll catch up with you later, Piper."

"Wait!"

Alex held back a sigh. "Yes?"

"I'm bored," the blonde complained. Alex could almost hear the pout in her voice, yet the smile that plastered her own face was strangely stubborn. She hated whining, but she found herself unable to put the phone down. "Come hang out with me."

"I'm busy," Alex said. "Not all of us can afford to flunk every class, you know."

"Listen, I'll take care of your homework."

"You'll do my homework?" Not even Alex could hold back a laugh. "You don't even do your own!"

Piper laughed too, an easy chuckle that surprised Alex. Despite reassuring her of the opposite a few weeks ago, it was hard not to think Piper was a priss who would take offence at the smallest of things.

"Of course I'm not doing your homework," she said. "There's this girl...she's a real math genius. She'll do it."

Alex crossed her arms, clamping her phone between her shoulder and ear. Suspicion crept into her voice as she asked, "Why would she do it?"

"Mm," Piper said, picking lint from her skirt. "She's a little short of cash right now."

Alex sighed. "Aren't we all?"

"Nope," the blonde said, popping the P. "I just got my allowance."

Alex rolled her eyes. "I thought you were grounded. And that your credit cards had been cancelled."

"Well, they are," Piper said. "But Daddy always relents in the end."

"Of course he does," she said under her breath. "Listen, I'm not pimping out some girl to do my homework. It's wrong, Piper." The brunette murmured as she worked out an equation, jotting her workings out down on the notepad.

"And selling drugs isn't?"

"It's not the same," Alex insisted. To her, selling drugs to rich kids was always going to happen. If she didn't profit off of it, someone else would. And someone else might lace it with who-knows-what. Alex was always fair on price, and she always sold what she advertised. "What's her name? Do I know her?" There was an edge of worry to her voice. She was unconcerned about what other people thought of her - or so she said - but anxiety still crept into her tone at the thought of people knowing anything about her.

"Taystee, and no. She doesn't mind," Piper insisted. "Plus, you know, what if she has to resort to other things if we don't pay her for homework?"

Taystee? Alex thought, raising an eyebrow. Even so, she shook her head good-humoredly. "That's a stretch." But she put down her pen, a smile playing on her lips.

Piper must have heard it in her words, because she seized her opportunity. "So you'll meet me?"

"Fine," Alex relented, throwing her textbooks on her bed. "Where?"

"Storky's."

"..."

"The booth closest to the counter, okay?" Piper continued.

"You're serious?"

"I'm always serious!" The peals of laughter that followed were contagious.

"I'm not gonna turn up to Storky's to the cast of Punk'd, right?"

Piper rolled her eyes this time. "Just meet me there."

Alex shoved her phone into the pocket of her knock-off Levi's, threw on a jacket to combat the cold now that the mild days had given way to frost, and headed out the door. Snowflakes were fluttering down, much like on that awful day a few weeks ago.

Alex ran out into the street. Her heart thudded underneath her sweatshirt, sweat beading on her forehead. It was freezing out, but she batted at her face wildly to cool it off. "Help!"

The ice on the sidewalk gave no traction, and she slid right over. Her knees were bleeding, but if she noticed, she didn't show it. "Can somebody help? My friend is in trouble!"

No-one stopped. No-one even looked in her direction. Was she invisible? She thought. With trembling hands, Alex punched in 911. Reeling off Nicky's address, she continued breathlessly, "I think my friend's taken something...she's collapsed on the floor, I can't wake her up."

Listening to the operator, Alex ran back inside. Crouching down next to Nicky, she sobbed over her. "Come on, Nichols...I can't do this without you. We're a team, right?" She sniffed, wiping her nose on the back of her hand.

Nicky didn't stir, and her breathing, if she was breathing, was faint.

"I'm getting you help, Nicky," Alex said, her hair falling in Nicky's face. "Just hang on a little longer, okay?"

Alex ignored the snowflakes raining down on her. It only served as a reminder. At least this time, though, the ground wasn't covered in a sheet of black ice. She rubbed her hands together as she walked to the bus stop.

On the bus, she looked out of the window. She didn't like public transport; people were generally assholes, and since she'd...blossomed when she was eleven, she was accustomed to comments being thrown in her direction. But today was different. Today she was going to be seeing Piper. And despite everything else, she couldn't stop the smile on her face.

Pushing the door to Storky's open, Alex looked up as the little bell jangled above her. It was the type of place her mom would have taken her as a treat when she was little - though that happened so little, she could have counted it on one hand.

Piper, true to her word, sat at the booth closest to the counter. Her face beamed a smile and she beckoned Alex over. Alex laughed softly at her goofy expression, and smiled back - until her eyes flitted to a familiar face a little behind the blonde.

Alex's pace quickened and her smile faded into a glare by the time she reached the booth. She threw her backpack down onto the bench, her eyes dark.

"Wait here," Alex said, her attention entirely captured by a scene behind the counter of Storky's. She locked eyes with Piper, whose brow knitted in confusion. Through gritted teeth, she hissed, "I have something to take care of."

Piper's gaze followed Alex as she stormed up to the counter, as she slammed her hand down on the table. It throbbed, but she had other things on her mind. "What the fuck, Nicky?"

Nicky jumped, slipping a small baggie into her pocket. "Relax, Al," the blonde said with an easy smile. "Me and Taystee are just having a conversation." Her voice lost its friendly tone and gained an edge."I am allowed to have friends other than you, aren't I?"

Alex ignored her. "You're Taystee?"

"And you are?" Taystee raised her eyebrows.

"None of your business."

Alex grabbed Nicky's arm, twisted it and, ignoring Nicky's yelp of pain, dipped her hand into the copper-haired girl's pocket. "Is this what you call a conversation?" Alex glared as she held up a baggie of white powder. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Weed is one thing, Nicky, but you promised."

"I didn't promise shit!" Nicky retaliated. She snatched the baggie from Alex's fingers, turning to Taystee. "Tell Vee I'll pay her next time I see her," she muttered.

"I'll add it to your tab," Taystee said, raising her eyebrows at Alex. "You ordering, or what?"

"Thanks," Alex said sarcastically, her grip tightening around Nicky's arm. "But we're done here. Nice to know you're using your skills in math for the greater good."

Taystee shrugged. "Everybody's gotta eat."

Alex waited anxiously outside of Nicky's hospital room until Marka emerged. The older woman's eyes were red around the rims, but she looked far away. Alex hesitated for a moment before calling.

"Mrs Nichols?"

The blonde's head snapped up. Her eyes, so much like Nicky's, bored into Alex. "Yes?"

Alex almost lost her nerve. "How...how is Nicky?"

Marka tilted her head. "She's going to be fine, Alex."

"You remember me?"

Marka had the good grace to look ashamed, and shook her head. "Nicky told me. You saved her life, you know." She took a deep breath. "The nurses, they said so."

Alex was lost for words. She stumbled over the ones she had, umming and ahhing. "I just did what anyone would."

Marka's voice was flat when she continued. "She's going to kill herself, you know."

Alex said nothing. She wanted to disagree, to say that this would be the scare she needed to finally kick the habit...but she couldn't.

'When I wanted to rebel as a teenager, I didn't eat. That's what we did, back in the 70s." For the first time, Marka's face crumpled. "I didn't even last a month. God, why this? Why her? Why me?"

Alex opened her mouth to continue, but no words seemed to fit. Before she found any, Marka was wiping her eyes. She patted at her cheeks with a handkerchief.

"Visiting times are between two and four, dear. Come whenever you'd like."

"You're going to kill yourself," Alex said, her voice rising hysterically. "And then what am I supposed to do? I need you, Nicky! Why are you doing this to yourself?"

Nicky stood her ground, yanking her arm away. Bruises from cannulas still stood out on her pale skin. "What I do is none of your fucking business, Alex! Go be with your girlfriend."

"You know what?" Alex yelled, not caring that she was attracting the attention of half of the restaurant. She plucked the baggie back from Nicky. "I will. But you're still not killing yourself on my watch!"

Before she had a chance to respond, Alex stormed over to Piper. She grabbed her bag from the bench and jerked her head in the direction of the door. "We're going."

Piper scampered to her feet. Having witnessed the whole scene, she was more than willing to leave - but utterly confused, too. She struggled to keep up with Alex's pace as she charged out of the restaurant.

"Are you okay?" Piper squeaked, practically running behind Alex. "I'm sorry, I swear I didn't know that Taystee sold that shit.."

"It's fine," Alex said, quickening her pace even further. She marched to where Piper was parked and slid into her passenger side. Tears pooled in her eyes, but Piper pretended not to notice as she pawed at them.

"Where are we going?" Piper asked quietly, turning the key in the ignition.

"Anywhere but here."

Sitting on the floor of her bedroom, Piper looked at Alex with uncertainty. Then, after a moment, she scooted closer. Resting her head on Alex's neck, she bit her lip. "It'll be okay, you know."

Her free hand ruffled the plush cream carpet on her floor. As soon as they'd slammed Piper's door behind them, Piper ignoring the calling of her mother, Alex had fallen to a crumpled heap on the floor. Her face was hidden behind her hands, but Piper could still see teardrops rolling down her cheeks.

Alex shook her head, the tears now streaming freely down her face. "I'm so afraid that I'm gonna lose her," she admitted, her hair falling in her blood shot eyes. "And I can't do a fucking thing about it. One day I'm gonna turn up, and she's gonna be lying there, a needle sticking out of her arm...I can't even think about it, yet I can't stop," she sobbed. "I found her, you know. Passed out on her fucking floor! Next time, what if I'm not there fast enough? What if she takes too much? I thought she was doing okay, I thought it was just a bad habit…"

"Oh, Al," Piper said softly. She gathered her hair behind her neck and stroked the soft skin on her jaw, not knowing what to say. "This is not your fault. And she's a fighter. She'll be okay." The words sounded hollow, even to her.

"I need to shut my brain off," Alex cried. She thought about having to go home, about having to face Diane and the mess she'd probably have made at home, face the consequences of not telling her where she'd gone...it made her want to run away for good.

Piper chewed on her thumbnail. As if reading her thoughts, she said, "You can stay here as long as you need to. There's no rush," she murmured. Alex could feel her hot breath on her neck, and she shivered. "I'm always here if you need me."

Alex turned around. Watery eyes and blotchy red cheeks aside, she still looked beautiful. Piper's eyes drifted to her lips. Her own lips pressed together.

"I do need you," Alex murmured. "Now. I need you now."

Unable to stop herself, Alex leaned forward and connected their lips. Piper couldn't help herself, either. The hand that had been gently stroking Alex's neck was now tangled in her hair, pulling the brunette closer and closer. Their chests were touching, and Alex wondered if Piper could feel her heart thumping.

Alex's hand snaked down to the small of Piper's back, caressing the soft skin there. Piper was first to break the kiss, panting and lipgloss smeared everywhere.

Alex looked at Piper, breathless. Lipstick smudges marked her cheeks, mascara streaked right down to her jawline. She tugged at Piper's skirt, and then locked eyes with her. "Are you sure?"

Piper looked down at her skirt, at Alex's hand, so close to her...the brunette's cold fingers brushed against her midriff.

"I…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought!


	6. Chapter 6

Piper pressed her forehead against Alex’s. “I can’t do this,” she breathed, closing her eyes. Alex tried to pull away but Piper held her close, their hearts beating in time with each other’s. The blonde ignored Alex’s tears splashing onto her own cheeks. She was surprisingly strong as she clutched her tightly.

“Why not?” Alex whispered. She hated how pathetic her voice sounded, how it wisped into the air so weakly. She hesitated. “Do you...not want me?”

Piper tucked a strand of Alex’s hair behind her ear, a soft laugh escaping. “Of course I do,” she said, her hand caressing Alex’s neck. Her voice caught in her throat. “More than anything.”

It was the truth, so why did she find it so hard to say? The words seemed to stick in her throat.

“Then why not?” 

Piper sucked in a breath. “Do you want it to be now? The first time? When your face is blotchy and red and you can’t breathe through tears?” She released her grip on Alex, her fingers leaving red marks on the white skin of Alex’s arm. She chewed on her bottom lip. “Sweetie, I don’t want you to wake up in the morning…” she paused, looking to the floor. “And see me as another mistake you made.”

Alex cringed at the words. She turned away, pushing her glasses up on her head and rubbing her eyes. “I would never think that, Piper,” she whispered.

Piper nodded swiftly, turning away. She wiped at her own eyes, taking a breather. “Maybe not,” she said, her voice monotone now, all traces of weakness gone as she dabbed at her face with her sleeve. “But let’s not take that chance, hm?”

The moment had passed. It was like Piper’s walls were up again, and the words simply business ran through Alex’s head like a rabid dog.

Alex covered her eyes with the palm of her hand, pushing down hard until she saw multicolored spots under her eyelids. A hiccup escaped from her lips as she tried to force the hyperventilating to end. Strangled breathing rasped through the room. 

It was as if the dam inside her had burst. No-one could stop the floodwaters now, and keeping it inside for weeks had been one of the hardest things she’d ever done. Seeing Nicky on that floor replayed in her mind every night before she went to sleep. 

“It’s all I see,” Alex murmured through her hands. “Everytime I close my eyes, every single time.” 

Piper watched, her eyes softening. “It won’t be forever,” she said, her forehead creasing. “I promise you, it won’t be forever.”

Alex drew her knees up to her chest. She looked like Bambi - all legs and sad eyes. Piper watched her as she rested her chin on her legs. 

“Do you ever wonder why people are the way they are?”

Piper nibbled on her nail, ripping away a hangnail. All the time, she thought. The thought had first crossed her mind when she was small, small enough that the memory was hazy at the edges.   
Her mom had watched her ballet recital, sat amongst the gaggle of other proud mothers. Piper had bounded over to her, a grin plastered over her tiny features. It had been a perfect day, until her mother opened her mouth. 

She smoothed down Piper’s hair, tucking a strand that had come loose of her chignon behind her ear and taking her hand in her own. “Your pirouettes were wobbly. But lovely performance, darling…”

She hadn’t heard the end of her mom’s sentence. The ringing in her ears had covered it. Every part of her felt wobbly after that, including her chin. Yet her mom never understood the tears that splashed down her cheeks. 

She’d wondered it when she saw Polly hanging off Larry’s arm a few weeks ago, throwing her head back laughing. It had hurt, but not as much as it once would have; she pretended not to know why.

And now. Now she was left wondering why she was like this, as she shook her head. Why Alex was opening up to her, and she was putting her shutters up. But her head kept on shaking and she looked to the brunette crying on her bedroom floor. 

“I do,” Alex said, rubbing the knuckle of her pointer finger on her chin in thought. Her hand dipped into her pocket and she felt the plastic of the little heroin baggie. She nodded, “I wonder.” 

Piper raised her eyebrows, waiting for her to continue, but she didn’t. Instead, Alex flew to her feet. 

“I have to go,” Alex said. Her hand still in her pocket, she clutched the bag in her fist. “I have something I have to do.”

Piper looked at her, then stood up too. Her brow furrowed at the sudden change of plan. “Like what?” 

Alex ducked her head. “Business.”

Piper’s eyebrows shot up. “Business? I thought your business was taking a backseat to studying.”

“And you thought Taystee was a sweet girl making cash by doing homework.” Alex stared at a mark on the wall before looking Piper in the eye. Her green eyes were dark as she turned. “I guess we were both wrong.”

Alex fled up to her bedroom as she arrived home, ignoring her mom’s calls. Alex was Diane’s world, but there were times that Alex just couldn’t deal with her. The door almost came off of its hinges behind her, echoing through the empty hallway. Alex slid down the wall in her bedroom, small flakes of paint chipping off as she did so.

“Honey, you okay?” Diane called, chunky knit cardigan draped around her skinny shoulders. Alex sniffed and wiped the tears away. 

“I’m fine, mom,” she called back. She hoped her mom couldn’t guess from the stuffy voice that she’d been crying. “I’ll come down and make dinner soon, okay?”

Diane hesitated, but nodded to herself. “Okay, honey. I’ll be waiting for you. Don’t stay up there too long, will you?” There was an anxious edge to her voice. Alex covered her eyes and pretended that she hadn’t heard it. 

From her pocket she pulled the little baggie of white powder. Who would have thought such a little thing could cause so much trouble?

Tipping it out onto the back of her hand, Alex sniffed the powder in one fell swoop. It wasn’t as good as injecting it, she’d heard, but it didn’t leave the track marks and she didn’t need the questioning. 

Alex stared at the baggie on the floor, empty now. It looked so innocent. Resting her head back on the wall, Alex closed her eyes. She ignored the beeping from her phone, and tried to block out the rest of the world. 

Meanwhile, Piper held her own phone to her ear. “Please pick up, Alex,” Piper said in yet another message. “I’m worried about you.”

The blonde set her phone down and drummed her fingers, wishing she’d held Alex close and not let her leave. Wishing she’d chased after her. Wishing that she’d done anything to help. She came to a stand, unable to take it anymore. Throwing on a hoodie and for once not caring about the state of her hair, Piper grabbed her keys. 

If Alex wouldn’t come to her, then she would find Alex. 

“Sweetie?” Piper said, sticking her head around Alex’s door. Alex’s mom had let her in with a worried smile, stating that she wasn’t sure Alex would be up for visitors, but that she was more than welcome to try. 

Alex didn’t say anything and Piper saw a mess of brunette hair fanned out on the floor. She eased the door open and fell to the floor as she saw Alex. She didn’t stir as Piper squeezed her arm. Piper’s heart thudded wildly in her chest. 

Shaking her, Piper brushed dark strands of hair out of her eyes. “Alex?” Piper held her lolling head straight. “What have you done? Alex?”

It was then that she noticed the little empty baggie on the floor. 

“Oh, Alex…” Piper said. “Why this? Why now?” 

Alex giggled softly, her eyes rolling back in her head. “You sound like my mom.” 

“That’s because I’m worried,” Piper said, frowning. She stroked Alex’s forehead as the brunette nuzzled into her. “Do you feel okay?” Piper asked. “Do I need to call someone?”

“No!” Alex said, seemingly sobering up at least a little. She shook her head. “I’ll be okay,” she slurred. 

Piper bit her lip, still not convinced.

“I just need to sleep it off. Will you sleep it off with me, Piper?”

Piper smiled faintly. She was holding back tears, yet she nodded her head. “I have to do something first, okay? But I’ll be back.”

“Don’t go,” Alex said. 

Piper pulled her to her feet, slipping an arm around her waist. “Come on,” Piper said, her breath tickling Alex’s neck. “Let’s get you to bed.”

“I don’t wanna go to bed.”

“I’ll come back and join you soon, okay?” Anger was building beneath her surface, but she kept a lid on it for Alex.

“Mhm.”

Piper helped Alex lie down. She wasn’t sure what to do for the best, and as the brunette’s breathing evened out, Piper pressed her lips together. She pulled her shoes off, leaving them by the side of her bed. She looked comfortable, at the very least.

Then she eased her into the recovery position and pulled a blanket over her sleeping form, tucking her in. She hesitated. Stooping down, she planted a quick kiss on Alex’s forehead. “I’ll be back soon,” she whispered. “I promise I’ll be back soon.”

Piper looked down worriedly. But without getting Alex into trouble, there was little more she could do. With mixed feelings, she quietly came out of the room and poked her head into the living room. Alex’s mom sat on the couch, staring into nothingness. Her eyes were glassy. Piper hesitated for a moment, not knowing what to call her. “Um, miss…”

Diane’s head whipped round. “You can call me Diane.”

“Okay,” Piper said, too tired to be charming. “Diane, Alex isn’t feeling too well. Will you keep an eye on her?”

Diane looked at her worriedly. “What’s the matter? She said she was doing homework.”

“She’s just feeling...under the weather. Do you mind if I come back later?”

Diane raised her eyebrows, a trembling fist by her side. “If Alex doesn’t mind, then I don’t.”

The door of Storky’s opened with the ringing of a bell and the slamming of the same door behind Piper. Pushing to the front of the queue and ignoring the glares of other customers milling around her, she slapped her hand down on the counter. 

“Taystee, we need to talk.”

Taystee raised her eyebrows at Piper, glancing to the customers waiting behind her. She shrugged, gesturing around her. “I’m working.”

“I know,” Piper said, mouth set in a hard line. “Maybe I should let a couple more people know about your little sideline.”

The hand that was filling a cup with soda clenched slightly, and Piper’s eyebrow quirked. Taystee slammed the drink down on the counter, shoving it towards the customer. Her eyes narrowed at Piper, but she threw her hat down onto a chair.

She yelled over her shoulder. “I’m taking my break!” 

Taystee lifted the counter up, pushing past the sea of customers and the dinner rush and opening the door to the parking lot. Piper trotted after her, satisfied. The hit of fresh air after being in the stuffy restaurant was instant relief.

“What do you want, Piper?” Taystee asked, her tone resigned. “I need the money, okay? Not all of us can dry our fucking tears with hundred dollar bills.”

“But it’s okay to spend a hundred and shoot it up?” Piper shook her head. “That’s the least of my worries. Stop selling to Nichols, okay?”

“What the fuck?” Taystee ran a hand through her hair, smoothing out what the hat had messed up. She pursed her lips, making a small tsk noise. “No way. She’s one of my best customers.”

“Do I look like I fucking care?!” Piper hissed. “She’s gonna kill herself!”

Taystee had the good graces to look upset by the comment, grinding the toe of her shoe into the dirt. “It’s that bad?”

Piper frowned. “You know it is.”

She didn’t particularly like the girl; in fact, it wasn’t a stretch to say that the copper haired junkie was the bane of her existence. But for some reason, Alex loved her. And for the first time in her life, Piper could see further than herself. It felt like someone was reaching into her chest and squeezing her heart with an icy fist every time she had to sit there and watch Alex cry. 

Seeing her strung out on heroin made her feel sick. As long as Nicky was using, she’d still feel the same. 

Taystee said nothing, so Piper filled the silence. 

“If you sell to her again, I’ll tell my dad. He has friends in law enforcement. I’m not playing around here, okay?”

“What am I supposed to tell her? What am I supposed to tell Vee?” Taystee asked, the terror plain on her face as her lips curled into a grimace. 

“Leave that to me,” Piper said. “You know where she lives?”

Taystee jutted her chin out, considering. 

“You wanna explain to her that she’s done whilst she’s coming down from God knows what? Be my guest…” Piper turned on her heel, shrugging.

Taystee broke first, exhaling forcefully. “Wait.”

Piper smirked, but wiped it from her face as she turned round. “Can you write it down for me?”

Piper squinted at the piece of paper in her hand. The ink had smudged after being crumpled in her sweaty palm, but it was still legible - just. Sighing and feeling more exhausted than she had in her whole life - even after that half marathon Polly had signed her up for - Piper rapped on the clean white front door. 

A woman dressed in white opened the door. “Hello,” she said, a little surprised. She’d instantly clocked Piper’s Kate Spade handbag and silver watch. “Are you fundraising?”

“No,” Piper said, a little self conscious. “I’m here to see Nicky.”

“Oh,” she said, a tinkly laugh escaping. “I wasn’t expecting that.” She sounded impressed. “Come on in, dear. I’m Marka, Nicky’s mother.”

Piper forced a smile. “I’m Piper.”

“Come on in, Piper.”

Piper stepped inside. She wasn’t surprised to see a home not unlike her own. Everything had a place, and everything was in its place...except Nicky, it seemed. She was lounging on the couch, making the place look messy. 

Marka threw a glance over her shoulder at her only daughter, suppressing a sigh. She raised her voice to be heard over Nicky’s earphones. She hadn’t even looked up from her phone in the time it had taken to open the door. “I’m going out, Nicky. Take care of our guest, won’t you?”

Nicky’s head finally snapped up and she ripped out her earphones. “What?”

Before Nicky got the chance to argue her point, the door had been slammed. She huffed in annoyance and her anger turned to Piper. “What the fuck do you want?”

“For you to care!” Piper snapped. Her patience had been worn thinner than ever. “Alex is high right now, you know that?” 

Nicky glared. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Scraping back her hair, she shook her head and exhaled through her nose. “She stole my heroin?”

“That’s all you care about?” Piper kicked the coffee table in front of her and immediately regretted it as her toes throbbed and Nicky snickered. She looked totally blasé. “Alex has been crying since she left! You are breaking her heart,” she continued, her voice cracking.

Nicky dug her fingernails into the palm of her hand. For the briefest moment, her eyes closed. Then they flashed open again, and she looked colder than ice. She pinched the bridge of her nose.

Nicky flipped open a packet of cigarettes, lighting one up. Before responding, she took a drag.

“Are you finished?” Nicky asked boredly, raising her eyebrows. She flicked ash onto the pristine wooden floor. “Because you’re starting to sound like you’re finished.”

“Why don’t you care?” Piper yelled. “You’re going to kill yourself!”

“Do you think I fucking care what you think?” Nicky shot back, nostrils flaring. “I didn’t care when Marka told me, I didn’t care when Red told me,” Nicky said, though her own voice broke on the name, “And I certainly don’t care that you’ve told me.” In her hoodie pocket, her hands trembled. She needed her next fix.

Piper frowned, wondering who the hell Red was. But her anger overrode her curiosity. “You know what? You might not care if you kill yourself, but Alex does.” 

Nicky rubbed the blotchy skin on her neck. Her energy was drained and she couldn’t be bothered to argue. “Well tell Alex I’m very sorry if I kick the bucket before my time.”

Piper looked down at Nicky. This is hopeless, she thought. Turning on her heel, she left. She had more important things to deal with - Alex. 

With a heavy heart and exhausted body, Piper sat in her car outside of Alex’s house. She rested her head against the steering wheel. She had never had a longer day, nor a more emotionally taxing one. With a sigh, Piper heaved herself out of the seat. She locked it and shoved the keys into her pocket, walking the small and dimly lit path up to Alex’s home. 

The porch light was flickering, illuminating the cobwebs in the windows. The curtain twitched ominously. It looked depressing, but something precious was inside. Piper pushed aside any misgivings and knocked on the door. Diane answered almost immediately, and Piper wondered if she’d been watching her at the window. Probably. 

“Hello,” Diane said. “Alex is still asleep,” she said, a worried line forming on her forehead. “But you can come inside if you want.”

Piper hesitated. “I do,” she said finally. Flashing a quick smile to Diane, Piper jogged to Alex’s room. She felt like every second would matter. Every second she was away from her felt like a second too many, and it was the strangest feeling. 

She opened the door to Alex’s room. The worn out carpet made a swooshing sound as she opened it, and she tiptoed into the room. Alex was asleep under the covers. Piper stayed at the edge of the room for a moment, drinking in the serenity. After a moment, she kicked off her own shoes and threw her jacket on the chair. She carefully peeled back the duvet from Alex and climbed in beside her, squashed up on her tiny twin bed. 

Heat radiated off of her. Piper could feel sweat beading on Alex’s neck and brushed her hair from the clammy skin it stuck to. “See?” she said, wrapping an arm around Alex’s waist and entwining their fingers together. “I came back. I’ll always come back.”


	7. Seven

Piper’s eyes slowly fluttered open to the sight of Diane looming over her. The blonde sprang to her feet, heart thudding wildly. She held the blanket around her under her armpits, feeling bizarrely vulnerable. Sometime during the night she’d tugged off her jeans and kicked them into a crumpled heap on the floor, but then she hadn’t expected to be interrogated come the morning.

“Oh, thank God,” Diane said, her hand clasped over her chest. “For a moment there it didn’t look like you were breathing.”

Piper stared at her. A look of bewilderment crossed her features as she blinked, still half asleep, in the blinding light that was streaming in through the windows. Even as she processed what she was saying, it didn’t seem to make sense. She rubbed her eyes and looked down at Alex, who stirred but didn’t wake completely. 

“Why wouldn’t I be breathing?” Piper demanded. She squeezed her eyes shut, letting herself wake up a little more before continuing in a softer voice, “I’m fine, Miss Vause, sorry. You scared me a little.”

“You scared me too,” was her indignant response. 

Piper tried to disguise the confusion on her face with a weak smile. She was relieved when her phone rang, filling the silence so that she didn’t have to. Her relief turned to anxiety as she fished it out of the pocket of her jeans and saw that it was her mom - along with the thirteen other missed calls. Piper bit her lip. 

“Can I just..” Piper gestured to her ringing phone, flashing an apologetic smile to Diane.

“Oh, of course,” Diane said, suddenly flustered. She tripped over Piper’s discarded jeans on the way out as Piper winced watching her. 

As soon as the door slammed behind her, stirring Alex awake, Piper cut the call. She threw herself down on the bed, holding her head in her hands. She’d tossed and turned all night, eyes burning in the darkness as she tried to watch the steady rise and fall of Alex’s chest in sleep. 

Every time she’d finally fallen asleep, her body giving into the sheer exhaustion, she’d be jolted awake only a few moments after. It was always something and nothing that woke her; a small hitch in Alex’s breathing, the wind making the rickety guttering judder against the side of the house, even Diane shuffling in her slippers. And so the cycle would restart. Piper squinting in the darkness, her heart thudding wildly under her shirt. 

Even when she did manage to fall asleep for some reasonable length of time, her dreams were plagued with images of Alex choking on her own vomit, having some kind of reaction to whatever they cut the heroin with...it sent shivers down her spine.

“Piper?” Alex murmured, one eye half open and the other stuck together with sleep. “What are you doing here?”

Piper glanced down at Alex as she began to wake up a little more. The blonde watched as realization dawned on her. “You remember now?” she asked, unimpressed. She hid the fact that relief was flooding through her veins. 

Alex winced as she sat up. “Piper…”

“You scared the hell out of me!” Piper said, stopping her before the excuses came pouring out. “Do you have any idea…” Piper stopped. “Well, yeah. You do, actually. You know how fucking scary it is. And you did it anyway.”

Alex saw her point. Maybe if she’d thought it through, she wouldn’t have done it. But it was too late for maybes or what ifs and Alex reached for Piper’s hand. “I’m sorry, Piper,” she said, flinching when Piper pulled her hand away. “I…” 

“You?” Piper prompted, her anger melting to concern as Alex held her stomach. “Alex?”

Before Piper could say any more, Alex grabbed for the trashcan down by her bed. She fell to her knees on the floor, head in the can, throwing up whatever she’d eaten in the last twelve hours. Piper winced as she retched. Piper dropped to the floor next to her, gathering her hair up behind her. 

“Get it all out,” Piper said softly, her hand rubbing circles in the small of Alex’s back. She breathed a sigh. “We’ll get through this, together.” 

Alex wiped her mouth, looking up at Piper. Her skin was blotchy and red but Piper smiled anyway. “We will?”

Piper nodded, trailing her fingers softly over Alex’s neck. She stared at the empty wall over Alex’s head, her heart feeling heavy. “Of course we will.”

Alex leaned her head on Piper’s leg. The sudden ringing of her phone made her jump, and Piper flashed her a sheepish smile. 

“Shit, sorry…” The blonde once again grabbed her phone and looked at the caller ID. It was her mom, and she grimaced. “Al, I have to go.”

Alex looked up, her head hung miserably. “Will you come back?”

“I don’t know,” Piper admitted. “But not because of you,” she quickly added. “Because I’m probably gonna be grounded till I’m 25.”

Piper hadn’t even turned her key in the door when it was pulled open from the inside. Cal stared down at her, his face blank until a wide grin stretched over his features. 

“Ooh. You’re in so much trouble, Pipes.”

Piper rolled her eyes. “Who’s more mad, mom or dad?”

His eyes shone with excitement. It wasn’t often that he was the good kid, watching the punishment from the outside. “Mom.”

Piper groaned. “Shoot.” 

Slipping her shoes off, she dawdled to the living room. Facing her parents wasn’t something she wanted to rush. She even eyed the front door once more before pushing the living room door open, but decided against it.

Her parents were perched on the cream loveseat. Her mother’s arms were folded, her father looked like he hadn’t slept. A pang of guilt shot through her.

Carol immediately sprang up. Piper said nothing as she dived into her lecture, only occasionally looking up. She waited until her mother was finished ranting and had demanded, “well, what do you have to say for yourself?” to reply, putting on her best remorseful expression.

“I’m sorry, mom...I thought I’d told you.”

“Where were you?” Her father demanded. 

“At Polly’s,” Piper said. 

“The truth,” her mom cautioned. “You don’t think Polly’s mother is the first person I’d call when you stay out all night? So embarrassing, too. Imagine not knowing where your teenage daughter is!”

“Fine,” Piper said, grinding her teeth. “I was at Alex’s house. She’s my new...friend.” The word didn’t seem right, but she wasn’t about to go into the complexities of their relationship with her parents. She didn’t even know what they were.

“And you couldn’t call?”

No, I was busy putting her in the recovery position. “My phone died,” she trotted out. As if on cue, her phone told her of a notification. 

“Did it now?” 

“Maybe not,” Piper said. She looked to her dad. “You’d like Alex. She has her own business! I met her at school.” 

Her father raised his eyebrows as her mother looked at him, expecting him to give her another lecture. Truthfully, Mr Chapman couldn’t stand Piper’s current best friend, Polly. Her voice was shrill, her parents too liberal, and the smell of soap forever wafting through his home gave him a migraine. The chance to replace her was too tempting.

“She does?” he asked, nodding. “Well, Carol, she doesn’t sound so bad.”

Carol glared at her husband, rolling her eyes. “She’s a bad influence! Piper’s never been out all night. And her grades are slipping, you know that.”

“I know, honey,” he said in soothing tones, attempting to placate her. “Maybe we ought to meet her to decide for ourselves. Piper, invite her over for dinner. How about that, Carol?”

Carol pressed her lips together. Her husband knew she enjoyed entertaining, even if it was only for her children’s friends. She hesitated for a moment, and then nodded. “Fine. But one more strike and she’s out. Agreed? And no parties for a week. No parties and no soap making. You need to be studying.”

“Whatever you say, darling.”

Carol brightened. “Piper, why don’t you go and get some of those Russian bakery treats you and your brothers liked so much? Get your father and grandmother something too...I shouldn’t, I’m on Atkins.”

“Oh, go on darling. You look fantastic already.” 

Piper rolled her eyes at her parents, but smiled nonetheless. “Are you sure, mom? They’re the best. And daddy’s right,” she added, looking for a chance to compliment her mother and get back into her good books. “You’re thinner than Polly’s mom now.”

Her mom smiled back, swatting at Piper. “Flattery will get you everywhere,” she laughed. “Go on then. Hurry back, though. You know what Cal is like when he’s hungry.”

Nicky braced herself to open the door to the Russian market. Two or three customers beat her to it whilst she lingered at the door. The morning rush was afoot.

Inside the market, the redheaded owner’s brow furrowed. Between each order, she glanced outside the door. After serving the last customer in the line, she wiped her hands on her apron and stepped outside. 

The only thing visible of the girl was the mane of hair blustering in the wind as she mumbled to herself, eyes glued to the floor. She didn’t seem to notice Red’s presence, even when the bell rang as the door swung shut. 

“Nicky?” she asked after a moment, reaching a hand out to rest on her shoulder. Her concern was mounting. She squinted at her in the sunrise.

When she finally looked up, Red’s heart skipped a beat. Her usually beautiful brown eyes had been replaced with puffy bloodshot pools of tears. For a moment, she was speechless. There were no words when your child came to you, utterly devastated. 

Nicky spoke instead, her voice thick with emotion. “I know I said I didn’t,” Nicky said, tears spilling down her cheeks. Her voice was rising, nearing hysterical. “But I do care! I care, Red. I care!”

The older woman pulled Nicky in, encircling her in her arms. She rested her chin on Nicky’s head. Red was used to seeing Nicky in fits and flashes - but she was usually angry, or high, or mouthing off with that infuriating smirk of hers. This was different, but, she resolved to herself, nothing she couldn’t handle. 

Red’s chest heaved. “I know you do, honey,” she murmured, steering her toward to the door. “Come in. Let me sort everything out.” 

Nicky let Red guide her to her little office in the back room. Sitting Nicky down on the office chair she never let her share, Red untied her apron. “Now what’s up, hm?”

Nicky chewed on her nails. Her eyes flashed with worry and that was the thing making Red’s heart thud under her jumper. Nicky was always so self-assured, bordering on cocky. To see her like this made the older woman wonder what on earth she had done.

“Alex stole my heroin,” Nicky sobbed quietly, burying her nose into Red’s chest as she pulled her close.

Red cleared her throat, digesting the information. It felt like a kick to the stomach, but she held herself together as her girl cried against her. Closing her eyes, Red let out a sigh. 

“I was so angry, Red,” Nicky mumbled. “I just...I need it, you know? And she knew that, and she still took it from me…” Nicky trailed off, her eyes flashing up to meet Red’s. She bit her lip, anxiety written all over her face. “And...and I don’t know what they cut it with,” she admitted, rubbing at the back of her neck. “When Piper came over and told me that she’d took it...I didn’t know what to do or say.”

Red rubbed small circles in Nicky’s back. For a smart girl, Red thought, minutely shaking her head, this one can be pretty fucking stupid. 

“You’re worried about her?” Red asked. “Worried that she’s killing herself?” 

Nicky nodded. 

Red cupped her chin. “Then why aren’t you worried about yourself?” The older woman sighed. “You’re staying with me today. You can help out with the market.” I can keep an eye on you, she added silently.

She couldn’t imagine how Nicky could put that shit into her body and not care whatsoever, but feel terrified at the prospect of her friend doing the same. 

“It’s gonna kill me,” Nicky said quietly.

“The drugs?” Red asked, relieved that it was finally getting through to her.

Nicky shook her head. “Getting clean.”

Piper eyed Nicky suspiciously. Behind the counter, she looked smaller and younger, more amiable. She even smiled at the customers as they passed her, offering menus to the elderly and paper towels to the kids with sticky fingers. 

She’d been coming to this place since before she could even reach the handle, and not once had she seen Nicky around. For that she was thankful, because the copper curled junkie always managed to sour her day, but she was also confused. She couldn’t fathom who would hire Nicky - and why Nicky would get a job. She’d seen the numerous credit cards in her purse.

The heels of her shoe clacked against the tile floor as she walked up to the counter. Predictably, Nicky’s sunny demeanor instantly clouded over when she saw Piper. She rolled her eyes and turned on her heel. 

Red was immediately aware, even with her back turned and busy cleaning a table on the other side of the restaurant. She turned. “Nicky,” she said, her tone scolding. She raised her eyebrow. “We have a customer.”

Nicky narrowed her eyes but to Piper’s surprise she actually walked back to the counter and smiled at Piper. “Hi,” she said, her tone dripping with contempt. “What can I help you with?”

Piper smirked. Playing with her might be fun, she reasoned. Though she still hated the girl, Alex loved her. She kept that in mind, for hating the best friend of the first girl she’d ever really liked...like that, might be playing her cards wrong. 

“What are you doing here?”

“Working,” Nicky said. “You might not be familiar with the concept...what are you doing here?”

Piper ignored the slight. “We like the food here. Red does a good job. Our old maid, Claudette, is friends with her. She brought us along as kids.” A smile crossed Piper’s lips as she reminisced. It was a simpler time back then. 

Nicky nodded, pressing her lips together. She wished her nanny would have brought her here as a kid. Maybe she would have met Red earlier, and maybe things would have worked out differently than they had.

Piper continued. “I’ll have one Kulich and one…” she stopped, trying to think of what Alex would like. Though they’d spent more time than ever together lately, it was with time that the finer details of someone became clear. The little things, like how they take their coffee, what they like to eat...Piper hummed. 

Nicky watched her. Though even the sight of her got her hackles up, she swallowed her pride for the sake of her friend. The fact that Red’s eyes were burning at the back of her neck made it easier to do. “Alex likes the honey cakes.”

Piper looked up in surprise, meeting Nicky’s eye. She raised her eyebrows as she did so. “Have you been smoking weed?”

Nicky glared. “No.”

“Your eyes are all red.”

“I know,” Nicky admitted reluctantly. She pawed at her eyes, and it was then that Piper noticed the small smudges of mascara on her cheeks. Nicky met Piper’s eye again and kicked some dirt on the floor before raising her eyebrows hopefully. “How is Alex?”

The anger in Piper softened. It became obvious to her then he hadn’t been doing drugs, she had been crying. “She’s throwing up,” she said, without any pleasure that she was causing Nicky pain.

Nicky cringed as she reached into the glass display case and took out what Piper had asked for, plus the honey cakes. “Least it’ll put her off,” she offered.

“What about you?” Piper asked, taking the items that Nicky had bagged. She passed her the money, and as Nicky placed it into the till asked, “will it put you off?”

Nicky leaned against the counter. “I hope so,” she admitted, her voice cracking. She looked at Piper, blinking tears away. “I really hope so.”

Piper rapped at Alex’s front door with urgency. Her parents didn’t know exactly how far away the market was, but she couldn’t push her freedom too far. Not after last night. When Alex came to the door, she was relieved. Alex’s mom was nice, but she had neither the time nor the patience to deal with her. To her relief, Alex looked brighter. She still had rings under her eyes and her skin was still blotchy and red, but she was standing and smiling.

Alex grinned. “You came back,” she said. Looking down at the box in Piper’s hand, her eyebrows shot up. “Bearing gifts?”

“Yes, I hoped they’d soften the blow,” Piper said, shifting the bag to her other hand. 

“Of...coming down from heroin?” Alex asked uncertainly. 

“No, I hope the heroin hurts like hell and you never do it again,” she said. “To soften the blow of meeting my parents.”

“What?” Alex crossed her arms. She’d never even met Sylvie’s parents, and they had dated for two years. And to be honest, she wasn’t even sure what she and Piper were - friends, business partners...more? It confused her more than she’d like to admit.

“I know, I know,” Piper sighed, passing Alex the box. “But they said I wasn’t allowed to see you again if they don’t meet you. They’re afraid you’re a bad influence because of last night. I want to prove that you’re not, and that we can be friends.”

Alex raised her eyebrows at the word friends. It was yet another mixed message, but Piper didn’t seem to notice. 

“And I told my dad you run your own business,” Piper boasted. “He seemed impressed.”

Alex choked on air, shaking her head as she caught her breath. “You want me to impress your dad with my drug business?! Are you fucking insane?”

“Well, I didn’t tell him it was drugs, did I? You’ll have to make it up a little.” She brightened. “But that means you’ll meet them, yes?”

Alex heaved a sigh, the nausea stirring in her stomach again. “I don’t think I have much choice, do I?”

“Nope!” Piper laughed. She pecked Alex’s cheek, smiling at her coyly. As she turned to leave, she called over her shoulder. “Not if you wanna keep me around, anyway!” 

Alex watched her walk away, leaning against the door frame. “I do,” she whispered to Piper’s back. “I really really do.”


	8. 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya! Just so you know, this gets updated more frequently on FanFiction. I update on here when I remember...which is lacking. So if you feel like heading over there please do. Also don't be afraid to let me know what you think of the chapters, here or there...I love hearing from everyone but sometimes it feels like shouting into a void. Lol. Anyway, on with the chapter!

Bundling her books into her locker, Piper tried to ignore Polly's eyes burning into her back. Despite the fact that Brook Soso's annoying giggle seemed to echo in the hallway behind her, she didn't feel jealous. With the last book shoved in haphazardly, Piper checked her phone for the tenth time since she'd walked into the building five minutes ago.

Though she wouldn't admit it, she was still worried that Alex was going to text her with some bullshit excuse as to why she wasn't coming to school that day, and consequently why she couldn't join her for dinner with her parents later. She didn't know why she was worried - if nothing else, Alex always stuck to her word. Annoyingly so, the blonde had to admit. It was her who chopped and changed and didn't mean what she said; a smile ghosted her lips as she remembered uttering the words 'strictly business' all those weeks ago.

She rolled her eyes at herself, a blush sweeping across her cheeks. But it didn't stop the worry from churning in her stomach. Chewing on her lip, she smudged the lipstick she'd picked so carefully this morning. Worry wasn't like her. She was confident - overly so, sometimes, even she had to admit - independent, and she knew what she wanted and exactly how to get it. But Alex was her Achilles heel, the Daisy to her Gatsby. And it made her feel weak. Sure, she'd chased Larry, but that was fun. This felt like much higher stakes.

Her anxiety was so apparent it even caught the eye of Berdie, the new guidance counsellor. As Piper fiddled with her backpack, she strode over to investigate.

"What's up, Chapman?" She leaned against the lockers, brow knitted in concern. New in her role, she was eager to help students - sometimes too eager. "You look like a turkey on Thanksgiving."

Piper slipped her backpack over her shoulders. She offered Berdie a wry smile, slamming the locker door shut. "Gobble gobble."

Berdie's face lit up at the prospect of a student in need. "You wanna talk about it? I'm free. I could write you a pass to miss first period."

As tempting as the offer sounded, Piper shook her head. "Thanks, though," she said, wrinkling her nose at the thought of airing her dirty laundry. "But I have to get my grades up. Can't miss French. Comprende?" Piper let herself laugh, hoping it sounded convincing enough to shake Berdie.

"Gotcha," Berdie nodded. "Let me know though, Chapman. I'm here to help."

"Mhm," Piper said, her eyes swiveling behind Berdie at the double doors where students were pouring in. Upon seeing seemingly everyone but Alex, Piper sighed. "I will."

Meanwhile, Alex shared Piper's anxiety, albeit for very different reasons. She stood at Nicky's door, eyes glued to the floor as she hammered on the door. She hated this building. It was full of rich people. She groaned - rich people, exactly like who she was going to meet tonight. She sighed but pushed it out of her mind.

Hearing another bang on the door, Nicky stubbed out her cigarette with an annoyed huff. Grabbing her keys from the coffee table, she flung the door open.

"Yes?" she demanded, upon seeing Alex's face. She craned her neck to look over her shoulder, glancing at the clock hung up in the kitchen. "Shouldn't you be at school already?"

Alex glared. "You know you said you'd give me a ride."

Nicky leaned against the door frame, her brow furrowing. "No, you said that."

Alex's mouth set in a hard line as she shifted her backpack to her other shoulder. "I'm gonna be late if you don't take me."

"That sounds like a you problem." As Nicky tilted her head, a smirk playing on her lips, Alex noticed the keys hanging from her fingers.

"You're an asshole."

"What?" Nicky said, unable to stop herself from laughing. She rolled those brown eyes of hers and grabbed her purse from the coffee table before jerking her chin in the direction of the hallway. "Let's go."

"To school?"

It sounded like a redundant question, but she was going to make sure. Nicky could afford to skip days and whilst Alex would prefer to not be there too, she couldn't afford losing her partial scholarship.

Nicky rolled her eyes again. "Sure. But first we're stopping at Starbucks. You know, for breakfast."

This time it was Alex who rolled her eyes. "Coffee and cigarettes aren't breakfast."

Nicky raised her eyebrows as they walked out of the building. She opened up her car door. "What about coffee and heroin?"

Alex yanked the car door open. Despite having been clean for over a week now, it still churned her stomach to even contemplate drugs. "Not funny."

Nicky nodded. "Duly noted," she said, a hand running through her curls. She winked. "I'll try again next week."

It was as Alex sprinted into the building that Piper saw her. Hair flying everywhere and legs not quite co-ordinated with her body, Alex looked like a mess. Her usually pale cheeks had a rosy glow, and Piper took a moment just to watch her.

It was a strange feeling, looking at Alex. When she had looked at Larry, she'd always felt happy...but this was different. Butterflies swarmed in her stomach whenever she caught a glance of her. But not the bad kind, the kind that made her feel like she was on a rollercoaster at Disneyland again.

Yet with Larry it had been easier. She hadn't felt the need to hide him; he was the perfect boyfriend, in her parents' eyes. Straight As, straight laced, they'd accepted him instantly. Alex...Piper sighed. Alex was perfect to her, but to everyone else? The thought of telling her parents turned the butterflies in her stomach to bees.

Piper jogged over to Alex, who was so busy stuffing books into her locker that she didn't even notice Piper bounding over.

"You're here!" Piper exclaimed.

Alex jumped and tried to turn the grimace on her face into a smile as she turned to face Piper. The blonde had offered her a ride to school, and she'd been accepting it whilst Nicky played hooky in the past week or so, but she'd turned it down this morning. Every time she thought about meeting Piper's parents it made her feel sick, and she didn't feel like hearing Piper ramble about it on the car ride over.

The excitement and relief in Piper's voice made it feel worth it, though. Alex didn't need to force the smile as Piper shyly entwined their hands together. Alex let herself soak in the moment - it so rarely happened.

Though she tried to be patient with Piper, it grew very old very quickly when she shoved her hand away in the hallways and tried not to let herself smile too much around her. Even now she ripped her hand away as a set of footsteps sounded down the hallway.

"It's only Nicky," Alex said defensively.

Piper wrung her hands. "Sorry," she said, quickly taking Alex's hand in her own again. Not even Nicky's presence could dampen her spirits. "I'm just so glad you're here. I thought you might bail on me."

"I wouldn't do that to you," Alex reassured her. She gave her hand a quick squeeze and pecked her lips. "I need to get to class, okay? But how about we meet after school and you can help me decide what to wear? What do you even wear to a dinner party?" Her brow knitted together.

Piper grinned. "I'll meet you at yours?"

Alex drew her in for a quick hug, wondering if Piper could feel her hammering heart underneath her top. "See you then."

Nicky raised her eyebrows at Piper. The girl made Alex happy, but she didn't know how. She wouldn't even hold her hand in the hallways. Nicky let out a sigh. "Don't fuck it up."

Piper straightened, the smile slipping for a moment. "I won't," she whispered. "Really - this time I won't."

Alex bit her lip as she held up a dress in each hand, holding them up in front of her alternately. Neither looked right and, throwing them on the bed behind her, she sighed. She didn't have a thousand dresses to choose from like Piper probably did. And she was desperate to make a good impression.

"Wear the green one," Piper murmured, holding it in front of Alex. Resting her chin on Alex's shoulder, she smiled at her in the mirror. She smoothed the dress out, her hand grazing over the top of Alex's thigh. "It matches your eyes."

A smile played on Alex's lips and she turned to face Piper. "Is that so?"

"Mhm," Piper said. She laced her hand in Alex's, touching their noses together. It was the private moments like this that both of them had grown to cherish. It was the feel of Piper's skin, the sound of her laugh, the smell of her perfume...those were what she thought about in dark moments. The thoughts that had slowly replaced seeing Nicky lying unconscious on the floor when she closed her eyes to go to sleep.

Alex broke first, pulling away. "We're going to be late," she said reluctantly. "I need to get changed and put my makeup on."

Though she was frowning at Alex pulling away, Piper perked up at that. "Can I do your makeup?"

Alex laughed, unable to say no to such a harmless request. Handing her the makeup bag, she nodded. "No pink. Okay?"

Piper grinned as she rummaged through the bag. "Deal!"

Alex let Piper pick through her makeup bag, and though she was sure the makeup from the drugstore wasn't comparable to whatever Piper plastered over her own face, she didn't complain. After shimmying into the dress that felt completely unnatural to her, she sat in front of Piper.

Piper reached out and slipped her glasses off of her face. She gently folded them and placed them on her lap. "You have such beautiful skin."

"Thanks," Alex said, shrugging the compliment off. She'd always been too pale, to pasty...vampire. To hear someone compliment her was nice, but foreign. Piper softly swept the brush over Alex's skin. Her touch was so light that it tickled, and Alex shivered. "That feels nice," she murmured. Piper let her hand trail down Alex's cheek to her neck.

"I know," Piper said, smiling. "Now close your eyes...I think a cat eye." She deftly swiped the eyeliner pen over her lid. "There," she said, reaching for a mascara. "You look beautiful. My parents will love you. They really will." Like I do.

Alex peeked open her eyes and coated her own lashes in mascara as Piper marveled at her work. "You think?" Alex said.

"Of course I do," Piper said. And it sounded like she meant it. "One more thing before the lipstick," Piper said.

"What's that?"

Piper leaned forward and connected their lips. Alex was surprised, but leaned into it. It just felt...right. But Piper pulled away as Alex started to rake her fingers through her hair.

Alex looked up. "That was a tease."

Piper grinned. "A tease, or a preview?" she asked. Then she was back to her usual self, efficient and abrupt. "Now come on. Put your heels on and we'll get going. And no drugs talk," she said, as if Alex needed to be reminded.

Alex rolled her eyes, the tingle on her lips still her main focus. "Yes, boss."

Upon arriving at her house, Piper opened up the door and let Alex go in first. The brunette hung back a little, looking around curiously, and turned to Piper as she shut the door.

"Don't be nervous," Piper laughed. Seeing Alex bite her lip and wring her hands wasn't something she was used to, but it was sweet. "They're looking forward to meeting you."

"That's what I'm nervous about," Alex grumbled. "They expect someone like Polly. Not someone like me."

"They're expecting Alex Vause. That's you, isn't it?" Piper said, giving Alex's hand a quick squeeze before her mother walked into the room.

Piper shot her a look before she greeted Alex.

"You must be Alex!" Mrs Chapman said, walking over in a cloud of perfume and lipstick and enveloping Alex in a quick hug. She raised her eyebrows at Piper, ignoring the fact that her daughter looked mortified. "Piper's told me all about her new friend."

She omitted to mention the part about staying out all night, and worrying that she was a bad influence, but Alex got that feeling anyway.

The word friend was another point of contention, but Alex bit her tongue. What were she and Piper to each other, anyway? She didn't know, she really didn't.

Piper watched the cogs turning in Alex's mind. She immediately wanted to correct her mom, tell her that she was so much more than just a friend...but she couldn't, and she didn't. The moment slipped away.

"Hi, Mrs Chapman," Alex said with forced brightness, pulling away. But as she stepped further into the room, the scent of cooking wafted from the kitchen. To Alex, it reminded her of restaurants she could never afford. With more sincerity, she exclaimed, "Something smells wonderful!"

Carol smiled, brushing her hair back. "Well, I hope you're hungry. Dinner is ready and waiting."

The meal drew to an easy end with finished plates sitting in front of everybody and small talk still bubbling. Alex said a silent thank you to the fact that it had passed without any major hiccups.

"Thanks, Mrs Chapman," Alex said, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin. "That was really delicious."

She wasn't exaggerating to be polite - she really meant it. Anything her and Diane ate at their house was either takeout or convenience food. This felt like gourmet cooking, even if it was modest dining by their standards.

Mrs Chapman raised her eyebrows. None of her own children were ever grateful for their dinners. Polly hadn't ever eaten. She was always turning vegan or gluten free and not even Piper had been able to keep up with it.

Mrs Chapman folded her hands on the table, beaming at Alex. "Thank you, dear."

Alex forced a smile. "Do you need any help with cleaning up? Maybe the dishes?" she offered.

Cal burst out laughing. The thought of his mother standing at the sink, suds up to her elbows and donning rubber gloves amused him. "Mom doesn't do the dishes!"

Alex stared at him.

A smile played on Piper's lips and she ran her foot along Alex's leg under the table. "One of Miss Claudette's girls will come and do them later," she explained.

"But still," Mrs Chapman said, taking a sip of wine as Alex eyed the glass. "It was nice of you to offer."

"No worries," Alex said easily, taking a sip of the lemonade she'd been given. "Mom says it's always best to ask." Or she had, before everything went South.

"She sounds lovely," Mrs Chapman says. "Perhaps we could invite her round, Bill...what is it that your father does again, Alex?"

"Oh, he used to be in a band," she mumbled, waving her hand. "He runs a little record label now. But he's really busy.."

"Maybe just your mother then?" she persisted.

Piper set her glass down with a sigh. "Not everyone has as much free time as you, mom. Alex's mom is probably too busy too."

Carol shot Piper a look that silenced her. But before she could continue, Mr Chapman butt in with a point of his own.

"So, Alex," he said smoothly, ignoring the daggers his wife was shooting him, "I hear you have a business of your own. How's that?"

"It's going okay," Alex said, her tone guarded. Cautious of saying too much, she was coming across as cagey. Piper offered her an encouraging smile.

"You know, my grandfather started his own business from the ground up. He grew up dirt poor," he continued. A frown appeared on Carol's face; her own family had been wealthy for generations. He dabbed at his own mouth with a napkin, ignoring his wife's murmuring. "What is it that you do? I've told Piper her soap business is a fad. No-one cares about sustainable palm oil, do they? Hell, I don't even know what palm oil is."

Alex hid a smile as Piper opened her mouth to protest but thought better of it.

"I do supply and demand...like a catalogue," Alex said carefully. When Mr Chapman nodded, she continued. "People come to me and tell me what they want, and I order it. Some kids…" she shrugged, "I guess they'd rather have someone else doing the grunt work."

"That's the problem with kids these days," he complained, his eyes flashing to his youngest son quickly, as Cal flicked a pea at Piper. "They're lazy."

Alex sat on her hands. "I can't afford to be lazy."

Carol raised her eyebrows. "I thought you said your father was successful?"

"Well, he is," she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "But that doesn't mean I am."

Bill nodded, drinking from his glass. "Good attitude. I've told Piper's brothers that they won't just be handed money on a silver platter."

Alex smiled, wondering about Piper. Did she get told the same? She doubted it, for Piper seemed to get whatever she wanted.

"Thanks," Alex said sincerely. "I'm saving up."

"What for?" Piper asked.

Alex shrugged. "Just the future," she said. At one point she wasn't even sure she had one. But with Piper by her side, it made her want one. And now every cent she earned went towards it.

"The future," Piper repeated. It sounded good on her lips and she smiled through it. "The future is a pretty smart thing to save for."

"I agree," Mr Chapman said. He nudged his wife, raising his eyebrows. "Maybe some of that attitude could rub off on Piper."

Piper rolled her eyes, but laughed. Alex smiled at her from across the table. If it meant her parents giving her carte blanche to spend as much time with Alex as she wanted, then she didn't care.

"Can I take Alex down to the lake?"

Carol looked up in surprise. "But you haven't wanted to go down to the lake in years, Piper."

"I know," she said, smiling as she remembered all the fun she used to have there as a little girl. "But Alex has never been."

Carol looked to Bill. "You're really supposed to be grounded still."

Piper locked eyes with her dad, silently pleading. Bill reached over and squeezed his wife's hand, unable to say no to his little girl.

"You know keeping her grounded is just a punishment for you, Carol," he said, stifling a chuckle. "Let the girls go have fun. They're only young once."

Carol pressed her lips together, but finally she relented. She nodded her head in the direction of the door, waving her hand. She was always a little more amiable after a few glasses. "Go on then."

Piper cut the engine as she saw the lake coming into view, and as soon as she'd yanked the keys out of the ignition she ran out onto the grass. The sun still shone through the trees framing the lake, and a halo of gold shone over Piper's blonde hair.

Alex pushed her own car door open. She was too full from dinner to run, but she strolled over to Piper, who looked utterly content. Streams of light hit off of her tanned skin.

"Can we just...sit here and forget the world?" Piper said, flinging off her heels and running over the grass in bare feet.

Alex laughed, but kicked off her own heels too. Both pairs sat on the grass in a heap. "It didn't go that bad, did it?"

"Nooo," Piper insisted. "It went well. Dad loved you, I could tell. Mom...well, you know moms." She flashed Alex an apologetic smile.

"I do know moms," she sighed, raising her eyebrows. "Not sure how you could tell your dad loved me, though. I think you're being generous."

Piper flopped down next to the lake. Her hair fanned out around her and she didn't seem to care that there were grass stains on her white dress. "Aren't I always?"

Alex picked at a hangnail, not as sure of herself as she once had been. "Mm."

"He didn't pick up his work phone once," Piper said after a beat. She stayed laying down, staring at the blue skies. "He was actually interested in what you had to say."

Alex jumped to her feet, brushed the dirt from her dress, and plucked a dandelion from the side of the riverbank.

From her position lying on the bank, Piper watched, her nose wrinkling as she squinted in the sunset. It was the beginnings of a beautiful night; the sky an artist's canvas, splattered with candy floss clouds and patches of fading blue skies, it was almost as breathtaking to Piper as the girl in front of her.

The brunette closed her eyes, clutching the little weed like a lifeline. If Piper could have kept that image in her mind forever, she would have.

Sitting up, Piper splashed her feet in the cool water. The low summer breeze danced through her hair, and she raked her fingers through it as she brushed it back. A smile skimped her lips as Alex blew on the dandelion, sending the seeds flying into the air. Nature's confetti blustered around them, some getting caught in Alex's hair.

Piper threw her head back in easy laughter. "What are you doing?"

Alex peeked an eye open. "Making a wish."

Piper turned over, laying on her stomach on the grass. She rested her chin on her palm, elbows dug into the dirt, and tilted her head. "What did you wish for?"

"Nuh-uh," Alex said. "You don't get to know. Or they don't come true. Right?" Alex threw the discarded dandelion to the side and plucked another. She handed it to Piper. "Make your own wish."

"I'm glad you agreed to meet my parents," Piper said. She stopped, ripping a blade of grass in two.

Alex raised an eyebrow, sensing there was more to come. "Me too," she agreed. And she meant it, she really did - though she'd been dreading it since the subject had ever been brought up, it had gone much better than she'd ever hoped for.

After picking the petals from a daisy, Piper looked up. "I'm sorry I said you were a friend."

Alex closed her eyes, a wistful smile aimed at the grass. "It's okay," she said, her voice uncharacteristically soft. She ran her fingers through the blades, the dirt collecting underneath her fingernails. "I...I get it, you know."

Piper scoffed, not unkindly, but as if she couldn't believe it. Alex didn't seem to mind. A small snort filled the silence as she laughed.

"I do," Alex insisted, shaking her head. "When I first brought home a girlfriend, my mom laughed. She said…" Alex shrugged self-consciously. "Well, it doesn't matter what she said. But I didn't need to hear it." She contemplated saying what her dad had said, but that was too painful to repeat, even after all these years.

"I'm sorry," Piper said. "I don't wanna...mess with your head," she said. Drawing her knees up to her chest, she brushed her wet feet off to have something other than Alex's face to focus on. "Was that...was that Sylvie?"

She'd heard rumors about her. Bad rumors. But she was curious, and looked up at Alex, who let out a low chuckle. Alex shook her head.

"No," she said. "Sylvie and I started dating a couple of years ago, when I was turning fifteen," she explained as Piper nodded. "I brought home my first girlfriend at thirteen."

"Thirteen?" Piper echoed, a blush sweeping her cheeks. Larry had been her first boyfriend, and they'd only been dating for six months or so. "That's so young."

A smile ghosted Alex's lips. "Well, it's not about who you start with, is it? It's about who you end up with."

Piper reached out a hand to Alex. She scooted closer. The brunette instantly took Piper's hand, brushing her thumb over the back of it.

"Yeah," Piper said, nodding. She squeezed Alex's hand, leaning back against her so that her head rested against Alex's chest. "I guess it is."

"Hey Piper?" Alex said. Piper felt so natural in her arms, but she couldn't resist asking.

Piper looked up. "Mm?"

"Ever been skinny dipping?"


	9. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love if you left a comment letting me know what you thought. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy.

The light had faded to a dusky pink sky, and the cicadas sang a symphony in the long grass surrounding the lake. All was peaceful, until a shriek rang through the air.

"This isn't as fun as I thought it would be!" Piper squealed, having just dived into the lake stark naked. She threw her head back laughing, not caring that the mascara ran down both her cheeks.

The silence that followed was filled with peals of laughter from Alex, who watched from the bank. "You are crazy," Alex said through giggles, her cheeks tingeing as pink as the sky above them. "You realize it's freezing out here, right?" The brunette adjusted her glasses and folded her arms. "I was kidding about the skinny dipping."

Piper responded in the most mature way she could think of; by making chicken noises. She smacked the water with her hand, sending splashes up to hit Alex. "Are you a chicken, Vause?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "A warm chicken."

Piper raised her eyebrows, but couldn't stop the cheeky grin from turning the corners of her lips upwards. "Are you saying I'm not hot?"

Piper rested her head against the bank. Her hair hung around her shoulders in wet rat tails, and mascara trailed down both of her cheeks. She looked ridiculous, but not to Alex. Never, to Alex. "Please join me?" Piper asked, batting her eyelashes.

Alex rolled her eyes, looking down at Piper. Droplets of water glistened on her skin, hitting off of the fading sunlight. She resisted the urge to reach down for her, to caress the soft skin on her neck. If she started she wouldn't be able to stop. Her fingers would get tangled in her drenched hair as she raked them through it, her lips would touch Piper's as they basked in the glorious dusk the day had granted them…

"What are you staring at?" Piper asked, hugging her arms around herself. "Have I got something on my face?" She swatted at her cheek to see if there was a leaf or some other debris that Alex was looking at.

A smile skimped Alex's features and a blush swept her cheeks. "Oh, nothing," she said, stumbling over her words. She turned round, hiding her burning cheeks from Piper. Looking up at the candy floss clouds in the sky, she wondered what an actual relationship with Piper would be like. Not stealing kisses in shadows and holding hands under tables, but something tangible and open. It seemed so far away and unlikely, she didn't like to dwell on it. Because when she did, she felt hope - and that was something her jaded heart hadn't felt in a long time.

As Alex cloud watched, Piper's hands snaked out of the water. She grabbed Alex by the ankles and yanked her down into the water. Her laughter rang out clearly...until Alex's head didn't break the surface of the water.

Piper's eyes scanned the water. She was beginning to feel sick. And then she felt fingers scratching at her legs, clawing at her for a lifeline.

Alex's hands scrambled to grab for any part of Piper, her body sparing her blushes in her attempt to find air again. Meanwhile, any of Piper's self consciousness went out of the window as she pulled Alex up, clinging on to her and holding her close. When she yanked Alex's head out of the water, hearing the coughing almost instantly, Piper sent a silent thank you to the sky.

Alex spluttered as Piper held her up. When she caught her breath, she glared at Piper. "You could have killed me!"

"I didn't know you couldn't swim! You suggested skinny dipping!" Piper said, shock coursing through her veins. Her heart was hammering and adrenaline was pumping around her body. It had nowhere to go but out of her mouth. "Why the hell didn't you say?!"

"I'm not like you!" Alex exploded. "I didn't go to summer camp and swim in lakes and make friendship bracelets! No-one was around to teach me to swim!" She gasped some more air in, her lungs begging for relief. "Me and my friends aren't like you."

"What?" Piper scoffed. "What about Nicky?"

"Nicky's different," Alex insisted, shivering on the bank. "She doesn't have a mom that cares. I know your mom pisses you off but you take one look at her and you just know that you and your brothers are her world. Hell, even Diane takes an interest in me. God knows she's got her problems but she loves me, I know that. If you asked Nicky if her mom loved her, she wouldn't be able to answer."

Alex played with a blade of grass, her eyes fixed on it. She shrugged, her lips turning a light shade of blue as she trembled with the cold. "You and me...we're just different."

Piper nodded, letting a strand of wet hair fall in front of her face. To say she felt crushed was an understatement, but she didn't know how to make it better. In the past, she had never been the one with making up to do. Larry had always been the one showing up at her doorstep with flowers. But something told her Alex wasn't a flowers kinda gal.

"I know…" Piper said softly, running a finger along her bottom lip. "But that's why I like you."

Alex sighed, her anger quickly dissipating and being replaced with resigned disappointment. "No. That's why this," Alex gestured between the two of them, "won't work."

"It doesn't have to be that way," Piper said. She touched Alex's arm and recoiled at the icy feel of her skin. "Come on. Let's sit in the car."

Piper wrapped her dress around herself, grabbed both pairs of shoes, and trailed Alex to her car. She unlocked it, grabbed the blanket her father made her put there 'for emergencies' and handed it to Alex.

"Wrap this around yourself," she said. "Take off the wet clothes. You'll get hypothermia out here."

Alex obliged, shimmying out of the dress that clung to her now. She always hated getting wet. It reminded her of long waits at the bus stop when her mom was between cars, and the rain seeping into sneakers that had been worn to the point that their soles gave out. She wiggled her toes now, thankful that she didn't have to walk home.

Piper sat in the driver's side, waiting for Alex to slide in next to her. She switched on the ignition and then the heating to full blast. Alex raised her eyebrows.

"That's gonna use up all your gas."

Piper didn't know how true that was, but she didn't particularly care. She wrinkled her nose. "You're worth more than a tank of gas, Alex."

Alex looked away, watching the birds flock above them out of the window. She followed them as they dipped in and out of trees, swathed in the moonlight.

Piper watched the back of her head. Her hand reached out to touch Alex's back, but she stopped herself. Despite still dripping with water herself, she turned the heating vents to face only Alex. If she noticed, she didn't react.

"Let me spend some time with them," Piper said slowly, after a moment of silence. She had always hated silence. "Your friends, I mean. I want to get to know them. I want to be a part of your life, Alex."

"Really?" Alex turned. Her lips were rosy again, and Piper had to tear her eyes away from them. "You want to spend time with my friends?"

"For you, yes," Piper confirmed. "Nothing worth having is easy, right?"

Alex thought of her business, and how many people had told her she was wasting her time. How many people said she would amount to nothing because of where she came from. If something was worth it, then it was worth doing well. Alex nodded, not looking sure but willing to try.

"Let me sort something out."

"Yay!" Piper couldn't help the smile that lit up her face. "Oh, and Alex?" she said, her smile fading away. "I'm sorry for...well, you know. I would never have done it if I thought you could get hurt. You know that, right?"

Alex nodded. As mad as she had been from the shock, she did know that. She smirked. "I was just enjoying the view before you almost killed me."

"We can come here again," Piper said, Alex's innuendo going over her head. "It's always pretty empty. The view is gorgeous."

Alex rolled her eyes. "I meant you, Piper."

Piper's cheeks glowed. She tilted her head. "In that case, the view is right here." Her eyes flitted back down to Alex's lips, and she leaned in. She wasn't quite brave enough to touch her lips to Alex's, and the brunette leaned forward to connect them.

Sparks flying had always been delegated to books and fairytales for Piper, but with Alex, they came to life. She reluctantly drew away. "You're still freezing," she whispered, her fingers coming up to gently touch Alex's lips.

"This'll warm me up," Alex said, tangling her fingers in Piper's hair like she had imagined earlier. The kiss deepened. Alex's hands traced patterns on Piper's thigh, figures of eights and fingernails trailing across goosebump littered skin, making the blonde shiver from not just the cold.

Piper's timid hand comes up to wrap around Alex's neck, pulling her closer. Their bodies pressed together, chest to chest, and their noses brushed against each other's cheeks.

Blue eyes met green and it was like the stars had aligned in their favor. Clothes were already strewn everywhere, the kiss had left both wanting more..but Piper pulled away.

"We should get going," she said finally.

"Is...something wrong?" Alex said.

"No," Piper replied. She rested her forehead against Alex's. It really wasn't. "But not now. Not like this. Not after I almost drowned you," she joked. "My brother sits in that sit when I take him to school. I don't want...our moment to be here. I want it to be special. Because you are."

Alex didn't know if she believed it, but she nodded anyway. "I can wait," she said, tucking a strand of Piper's hair out of her eyes and behind her ear. "It'll be worth it."

A few days later, Piper found herself in the midst of a sleepover at Nicky Nichols' house. Needless to say, it wasn't Piper's idea - nor was it Alex's or Nicky's. Lorna had suggested a slumber party (something she had never had growing up with parents who didn't want their own kids in the house, let alone anyone else's), and with Marka gone and Nicky unable to say no to Lorna, the day was finally here.

Chinese food sat in the middle of the circle they had formed. Lorna sat on one side of Nicky, Alex on the other. Piper sat across from Nicky, cross legged in her matching silk pajamas. She bit her lip as she stabbed her chow mein, skewering a few noodles before pushing them around the plate instead of eating them.

Ordering take-out had been the last thing in a long line of traditional slumber party activities. Nicky had rolled her eyes at each and every one, including the truth or dare where the only embarrassed one was Piper, but to her credit, she had gone along with them all.

Tonight had meant a lot to Alex; she didn't want to mess it up by pissing off Nicky, or saying the wrong thing to Lorna. The girls were weird and reactive to the smallest thing, but they were Alex's friends. And whilst Piper was full of confidence, this was something she hadn't yet experienced - being friends with someone who came from such different backgrounds to her was foreign.

How she had convinced Nicky to hold it at her house was a question for another night, but something Piper was particularly curious about, and she looked to the blonde. She assumed it was to spend more time with Lorna, a bubbly brunette who had giggled maniacally as Piper had knocked on the door, but she couldn't be sure.

"You know, Sylvie just got out of juvie," Nicky said, taking a drag from her cigarette. She didn't feel the same apprehension. "The crazy bitch spent six months locked up and the first thing she does on the outside is hit up a dealer."

Piper watched the smoke rise up, wrinkling her nose at the thought of the smell clinging to the furniture. Alex didn't seem to notice. Her attention was firmly on Nicky's words, and her heart started hammering under her shirt at the thought of Sylvie being free.

The rumors had flown about Alex's old flame, and whilst Alex never really spoke about her, Piper knew she was still pretty infamous around town. Her own ears pricked up at the mention.

"You should probably prepare yourself for a visit," Nicky continued, rolling her eyes and waving the cigarette in the air. "You know what she's like. Unfinished business and all."

Piper glanced at Nicky. "Unfinished business?"

"Mm," Nicky said, not willing to give up any more information. She took a swig from her Starbucks cup, downing the rest of the coffee, and raised her eyebrows at Alex. The lack of a response was more interesting to her than the opportunity to piss off Piper. She stubbed out her cigarette and dropped it into the cup, pushing it onto the coffee table. "Wonder when she'll show up."

"Who knows," Alex murmured. She shook her head, leaning back against the couch. "Have you seen her?"

"Nope," Nicky said. She raised an eyebrow pointedly. "Thank God."

Piper shifted, uncrossing her legs and sitting on her knees instead. "Why?" she asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Is she dangerous?"

Nicky opened her mouth to reply, but when Lorna shot her a glare across the circle, she stopped short. Piper hid a smile at the tiny brunette being able to control Nicky.

"No," she said carefully, her tone measured. She caught Nicky's eye, raising her eyebrows. "But if you see her, avoid her."

"Is she causing you a problem?" Piper asked.

Alex opened her fortune cookie, the crunch deafening in the otherwise silent room. "No."

"Alex-"

"Piper, I said no."

A small silence ensued, before Lorna piped up again. She was in her element, and despite the tension, Nicky couldn't help but smile. "So...manicures?"

Later that night, when Nicky and Lorna had sneaked off somewhere to be alone, Alex took the opportunity to say what had been playing on her mind.

"Piper," Alex said, squeezing Piper's shoulders with conviction. "Promise me you won't talk to Sylvie. Don't go look for her, don't ask around about her, don't even think about her."

Piper gave a quick, shallow nod, her brow furrowing. She tucked her left hand behind her back.

"Okay," she finally said, both shocked and intrigued by the intensity with which Alex was asking her this. If anything, it made her more curious. Crossing her fingers on the hand behind her back, she echoed, "I promise."


End file.
